I Can Stop the Bleeding
by 1gurgi1
Summary: Roxas comes home and finds his mother dead on the floor. Depressed, the blonde starts cutting himself to escape the pain. Roxas and his Dad move to a new town. There he meets Axel. Can Axel show Roxas that there's more to life than pain?
1. It's All My Fault

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**I do not own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters.**

**Rated M for language, cutting, and possibly sex in later chapters. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p> A blonde teen was walking the streets. Hands in his pockets. Whistling. Looking like he didn't have a care in the world. He had spiky blonde hair, cyan blue eyes, and a baby face. He didn't look it but he was 15 years old. His life was about to change forever.<p>

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><p>I wish I could forget, but you just can't up and forget something like that. This memory will be forever engraved into my mind.<p>

I was walking home. I vaguely recalled my mom telling me to come straight home after school. I didn't. Instead I stopped into _Oblivion Games _to buy a new video game. I was gonna rub this in Hayner's face. He couldn't wait to play the game I bought.

When I came upon my house, I realized the driveway was empty. _Dad must not be home yet. Probably being kept late at the office. _I stepped inside.

"I'm home!"

No one answered. _Mom must be out back gardening._ I ran upstairs and threw my book bag and new game onto my bed, before heading back downstairs.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a can of coke from the fridge. The sound of the tab snapping open sounded eerily throughout the kitchen.

I made my way down the hallway. I was gonna step out on the back patio and talk to mom. Half way down the hallway I realized the TV in the living room was on.

Now this may seem like a normal thing, but to me it stood out. My mom rarely watches TV, and she would never leave it running if no one was watching it.

Before I turned into the living room, I noticed that the patio door was open. The curtains were billowing into the house. The patio was empty. _Where's mom? _

Something was wrong. I could feel it. I turned into the living room and time froze.

The can of coke dropped from my hand. I didn't hear it drop. My eyes widened in disbelief. My mouth was agape in horror.

My mom was sprawled out on the living room floor. Her long blonde hair was matted and covering her face. She was lying in a pool of blood. I could see a gaping wound in her chest.

"Mom?" It was hopeless. I knew she wouldn't answer. I would never hear her voice again.

"Mom!" I kept trying. I ran to her side and fell to my knees. "Mom! Say something! Mom!"

I was sobbing at this point. _How could she be dead? I was just talking to her this morning? Why her?_

I reached out to grab her hand. She was still warm. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be calling the police. I didn't move.

I just continued to hold her hand and cry. I heard the front door.

"Roxas? Jodi?" _Dad! _I still didn't move. I heard his footsteps. He was heading for the living room. I stayed motionless.

"Oh God!" He had found me holding onto my dead mother's hand. I heard shuffling. I should've been curious. I wasn't. I was uncaring. Numb.

"I h-have an emergency. M-my wife…she's… she's on the ground bleeding. I…I think she's…been stabbed." It was pointless. She was dead. Lifeless. Gone.

I felt my dad's hands on my shouler's. I didn't react.

"Roxas? I think you should move. The police will be here soon."

My dad was crying. His hands were trembling. I had never seen my dad lose his composure. His composure was gone. Like Mom.

He attempted to help me up. Now I figure he was looking for comfort with his son. At the time I didn't care. I shrugged him off.

"Go away." My voice cracked. I had cried so much. I heard a knock at the door.

"Police." I heard my dad leave the room to answer the door. I stayed kneeling, holding my mom's hand. It was starting to lose some of its warmth.

Firm hands grasped my shoulders.

"Come on son. You have to move away from the body." I didn't recognize the uncaring voice. I snapped.

"No! I can't leave her! She needs me! That's not a body! That's my mom!" I was sobbing.

My dad wrapped me in his arms. He walked me to my room. I fought him every step of the way.

He was crying. I was crying. When we got to my room I shut him out and locked myself inside. I crawled into my bed. I curled myself into a ball. Fetal position. I had heard it made you feel safe. It was a bunch of bull shit.

Two hours later Dad knocked on my door. I ignored him.

"Roxas? Can I come in? Please?" His voice was hoarse from crying. Like mine.

I wasn't sure if I remembered how to walk. I managed. I unlocked the door and went back to my bed.

Dad came in and sat next to me. He put his arm around me.

"They police say it happened an hour before you found her. They're pretty sure they'll catch the guy. He will suffer the consequences."

It meant nothing to me.

"Catching the guy isn't gonna bring Mom back. Nothing will."

Dad started trembling again.

"I know Rox. I know. We will get through this though. She would want us to be strong. We have to be strong for her Rox. Promise me?"

I numbly nodded my head. What did that mean? To be strong?

"I'm gonna order a pizza."

Dad left. I thought about what he had said. '_They police say it happened an hour before you found her.'_

An hour before I found her? I cringed.

I knew exactly where I was. I was at _Oblivian Games _buying a fucking video game! If I hadn't gone I might've been able to stop it from happening.

Deep understanding filled my mind. It was my fault. All my fault.

I sprinted into my adjoining bathroom. I threw up. I heaved my guts up. When I was done, I sat down and leaned against my bathtub.

I saw something glint out of the corner of my eye. Sitting on the edge of my sink was my razor. I had no need for one. I had zero facial hair. Dad had given it to me on my last birthday.

'_You're 15 now Roxas. You're a man now. Every man needs a razor. Even hairless men.'_

It had been a joke. I stood up and walked over to the sink.

I picked the razor up and weighed it in my hands. The blade mesmerized me.

I pushed my right sleeve up to my elbow. I touched the blade to my forearm.

I shivered. The blade was cold.

I steadily drug the instrument across my skin. I hitched my breath at the pain, but then I felt release.

I no longer felt any pain. I watched the scarlet drops slide down my arm.

"Roxas! Food's here!"

I quickly grabbed a wad of toilet paper, wetted it, and padded at the wound I inflicted. I threw a bandage over it and pulled my sleeve back down.

"Coming!"

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><p>That was two weeks ago. Every night since then I cut myself before I went to bed.<p>

This was how I was dealing with my Mom's death.

Dad and I were in a moving truck, driving to our new home.

We both couldn't stay in that house any longer. There were too many memories. Too much pain.

We stayed long enough to hold the funeral.

It made me sick.

People telling me how sorry they were. Telling me how great of a person she was.

I wanted to scream at them that they didn't know jack shit about my mom. I didn't. For Dad.

My good behavior was all for Dad. I didn't want him to worry. I wanted him think that I was okay. That I would be okay.

Thankfully he wasn't very observant. No questions were asked when I suddenly started wearing wrist bands. He probably figured it was a new fashion trend. I didn't give a shit about fashion. I was just hiding my scars.

If Dad saw those he would send me to a shrink. I didn't need some old person trying to probe into my thoughts and feelings. I just needed release.

I wasn't crazy. I was just dealing in the only way that helped. Cutting.

I wasn't suicidal. I would never kill myself. I would never do that to Dad. It's just that instant of feeling painless made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I didn't know how or why. I didn't care. I just liked the feeling it gave me.

_Everything's going to be okay._

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><p>We pulled into the driveway of our new house. I took it in. It was a small one story house. Just right for a family of three- no two. Only two.<p>

I walked into the house. As you stepped into the entry way, the living room was on your left while the kitchen and dining room were on your right.

Straight ahead was the hallway that would lead to the two bedrooms. Both rooms had an adjoining bathroom; something I was very thankful for.

It would've been very hard to hide my secret if I had to share a bathroom with Dad.

I went back outside and started helping Dad move our stuff into the house.

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><p>It took us two hours to get everything out of the truck and into the house. Then it took us another three hours to get everything put away and where we wanted it.<p>

We were sitting in the living room eating a pizza. Take out had become a regular thing.

Dad couldn't cook to save his life. That was Mom's area of expertise. I was a decent cook. Mom had taught me how. I wouldn't cook though. I was shying away from anything that reminded me of her.

"You start school tomorrow Rox. It's a few bl-…" I interrupted him.

"Don't worry Dad. I'll find it." I continued eating my pizza. He shot me a half smile.

"I know bud. You'll do just fine."

Our conversations always felt forced now. _When will things go back to normal?_

I finished my last slice, downed my mountain dew, and stood up.

"Good night Dad."

"Night Rox."

I made my way down the hallway to my bedroom. It was slightly larger than my old one.

Boxes of my stuff were pushed up against the walls. My bed was placed in the far corner with my desk sitting next it. My dresser was against the wall opposite my bed. The closet was next to it. The next door opened up into my bathroom.

I started digging through my boxes looking for one thing in particular. My razor.

It was in the bottom of the third box I started sifting through. I walked into my bathroom.

I pulled my wristband off and admired all the tiny scars. I held my arm over the sink and proceeded to run the blade over the delicate skin. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I hadn't cut myself last night. My razor had been packed away with everything else. I thought I was going into withdrawal.

That all went away as the blade brought forth my blood. I let the wound bleed its course, before bandaging it.

I walked back into my bedroom. I wasn't tired, but my computer, TV, and Xbox were still in their boxes.

_I'll set those up tomorrow after school._

I sighed in defeat. With nothing else to do I might as well go to bed. So I changed into some sweats, set the alarm on my phone, plugged my charger into the phone, and collapsed onto my bed.

I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. In my old room I would make shapes in the ceiling if I couldn't sleep. Not here. The ceiling here is perfectly smooth and flat.

I just stared into nothingness until finally, sleep overcame me.

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><p><strong>So that's the start of the story!<strong>

**Poor Roxas.**

**If this offends anyone in any way I apologize.**

**Please review. I wanna know what you guys think.**


	2. First Day

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and it's characters do not belong to me.**

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><p>My phone started incessantly going off at six the next morning. I groaned and pushed my pillow over my head trying to drown out the sound.<p>

The stupid thing wouldn't shut up. I would've reached over and turned it off if it weren't out of reach.

I put my cell phone out of reach on purpose. If it was next to me, I would just shut it off, roll over and fall back asleep. If I put it out of reach though, I would have to get up to turn it off thus making waking up successful.

That's just what I did. I untangled myself from the sheets and walked over to shut the damn noise up.

I stretched and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Then I remembered why I was up so damn early.

_Ugh! School, the bane of my existence. _

I grumbled under my breath as I walked into my bathroom to take a shower. A hot shower has never failed to relax me. It felt like my problems were swept away by the water. _If only it were that easy._

When I was done, I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked over to the sink and began brushing my teeth.

_I think I'm gonna style my hair. And maybe I'll wear my black jeans that make my ass look good._

Yes, I was worrying about how I was gonna look for my first day at my new school. I may not wanna be there, but I'll be damned if I look like crap.

Did I forget to mention that I'm bi? Well I am.

I don't have much experience with relationships though. I took my friend Olette out a few times. And I fooled around with Hayner. Kissing and giving each other hand jobs. Nothing serious. I've never been in a fool blown relationship though.

Before Mom died I really wanted to be with someone. That desires left me now. How could I be happy when Mom was dead? It didn't sound fair.

I finally got my hair just the way I wanted it. Intentionally messy. It was an art that I had mastered.

I meandered my way into my room and started sifting through my bag of clothes searching for the perfect outfit. After ten minutes I found fit.

My black jeans that showed off my ass, a snug red tank top, and my white leather jacket. I opened my box of wristbands and selected my red and black checkered one. Then I slid on my red converses.

I did a once over in the mirror and was satisfied with the result. I grabbed my book bag and headed for the kitchen.

Dad was already at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.

"Mornin' Dad." He set his paper down and smiled at me.

"Good morning Roxas. You all ready for school?" I silently groaned at the prospect.

"Yepp. I'm gonna head out. I'll see you later?" He shifted a little bit.

"I've gotta go downtown. The company may have transferred me here, but I still need to do an official interview and sign some papers. I'm not sure how long it'll take."

On one hand, I was glad Dad was throwing himself into work. It was normal for him.

On the other, I was little miffed that he could so easily get back into a normal routine when I knew I would struggle to do the same.

I wasn't gonna complain though. No, I was gonna grin and bare it.

"That's fine Dad. I'll be fine. I'm probably just gonna get loaded with homework anyways."

He smiled at me sadly.

"Roxas you don't have to try so hard. Its fine to be upset. You're not the parent, I am."

_Dammit. He's seen right through me._

I brushed his words off.

"I'm fine Dad. I've gotta go. Bye."

I made my way out of the house and started my walk to school.

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><p>There I stood in front of the high school. I just stood there observing it with wary eyes, until someone laid a hand on my shoulder.<p>

"Hey man. You knew?"

I turned to acknowledge the guy. He was a little taller than me, had silver hair, and had light blue eyes. He was kinda hot.

"Uh yea. I just moved here yesterday. Name's Roxas."

"Mine's Riku." He jerked his head over his shoulder. "That's Sora."

I took in the boy standing behind him. He looked a little like me, but he had dark brown hair. The boy was cute. He offered a shy wave.

"I should probably head inside. Who know's how long I'll have to spend in the office. Catch ya later."

Riku winked before heading towards the courtyard with Sora trailing behind him. The way Sora looked at Riku made me think they were together. Riku grabbing Sora's hand confirmed my suspicions.

I took a deep breath and trudged my way to the entrance of the school. I got a few looks as I made my way to the office.

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><p>I was sitting on a bench in the courtyard waiting for my friends. Larxene was clinging to my arm.<p>

"Axel! Can we go dancing tonight? Pleease?" She batted her eyelashes hoping it would help.

She's so damn annoying when she gets like this. She's always trying to get me to go out with her even though I don't swing that way.

"No. I don't feel like it. I'm just gonna chill tonight."

Just as she was about to retaliate, Riku and Sora walked up.

"Hey Axel, Larxene."

Glad for the interruption I quickly struck up a conversation.

"Hey guys what's up?" Sora perked up.

"There's a new guy in school. Said he just moved here. He seemed nice."

That caught my attention. Our town was so small that new people rarely come along.

"What's he look like?" Riku smirked, finding my interest amusing.

"He's about Sora's height and he's got blonde hair and blue eyes. His name's Roxas."

Sora looked at me with a wide smile on his face.

"We should be friends with him Axel. Make him feel welcome. You know how some people can be."

I chuckled. Sora was just so peppy all the time. It was hard not to feel happy around him.

"Sure, sure Sora. Let Kairi, Namine, Vexen, and Demyx know. The first one that runs into him should invite him to eat lunch with us."

Knowing they would, I made my up to the school. I wanted to get a look at this Roxas.

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><p>After spending half of first period in the office, I finally was on my way to my first class. I glanced down at my schedule to double check the room number.<p>

**Class Schedule**

**Period 1] **World History _Mr. Marluxia _**206**

**Period 2] **Chemistry _ Mr. Xion _**310**

**Period 3] **Classical Literature _Mr. Xemnas _** 119**

**Period 4] **Gym _Mr. Luxord _ **FH**

**Period 5] **Lunch **Cafeteria**

**Period 6] **Art _Mr. Lexaeus _**225**

**Period 7] **Study Hall Mr. Zexion **201**

After walking around aimlessly for a bit, I managed to find it. I grabbed the doorknob, and walked in.

I should've expected it, but I got really uncomfortable when all eyes were on me.

"Can I help you young man?" The teacher was staring at me suspiciously.

"U-um I'm new. My names Roxas." I handed him my schedule. He looked it over, before motioning for me to take a seat.

I chose an empty desk in the back of the room. As I walked to my seat, I noticed a really hot guy with bright red hair. He was chewing on a tooth pick with his eyes shut looking beyond bored.

After taking my seat, I quickly zoned out. History utterly confused me. Always had always will.

I tried really hard not to let my eyes wander over to the red head. I decided doodling in my notebook would suffice as a distraction.

Just as I finished sketching an ornate key, the bell sounded.

I went to get out of my seat, when I was suddenly surrounded by three people.

_The welcome party arrives. Joy!_

"Hey blondie! Name's Seifer. This here's Fuu and Rai." He pointed to his cronies in turn.

"Pleasure. I've gotta get to my next class."

The guy named Seifer blocked my path.

"Not so fast blondie. Just wanted to let you that we don't take kindly to new comers. Watch your step."

I rolled my eyes and stepped around him. I started walking towards the door when I felt pressure on my left wrist.

I whirled on them, ready to defend myself when a voice interrupted my train of thought.

"Leave the kid alone Seifer."

I looked over to see that it was the red head that had spoke. He was still sitting at his desk with his eyes closed, hand in his pockets, and chewing on a tooth pick.

The guy called Seifer dropped my arm like it had electrocuted him, and stormed out of the room.

I was just about to thank him, when he opened his left eye to look at me. My voice got stuck in my throat.

He had deep emerald green eyes. I hated the color green, but those eyes were just… beautiful.

"Cat got your tongue kid?" I snapped back to the present situation.

"Uh thanks. I should probably head to class."

"What's your name?" I stopped in my tracks. I looked over my shoulder at him.

"Roxas."

"Well Roxas, my names Axel. Get it memorized. You should sit with me and my friend's at lunch today. We're a helluva lot nicer than that dick Seifer."

I didn't know what to say so I simply nodded my head in agreement. The warning bell rang.

"Shit!"

I barely made it to my next class. I realized then that Axel had never moved from his desk.

_What a weird guy. He's hot though._

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><p>I was totally exhausted come lunch time. My first day had totally sucked so far. I was glad I didn't have to stress over where to sit though.<p>

Once I had my tray of food, I scanned the cafeteria for a certain red head.

Suddenly I felt someone wrap their arms around my arm. I looked down and saw a cute blonde haired blue eyed girl.

"Hi! Your Roxas right? I'm Namine. I'm a friend of Axel's. Our tables outside."

She started pulling me to the doors that led outside.

We stepped outside and I zeroed in on Axel. His hair was hard to miss. As we got closer to the table I recognized Sora and Riku. There was also a cute brunette, a bitchy looking blonde, a brown haired guy playing a guitar, and a thin guy with long dirty blonde hair.

When we took our seats at the table, I saw Axel zero in on where Namine was holding my arm.

_She's probably his girl. _

I didn't wanna cause any trouble for my possibly new friends so I entangled my arm from her grasp.

Axel relaxed once I did that so I figured I was in the clear.

The cute brunette leaned forward.

"Hi Roxas! I'm Kairi. You've already met Axel, Riku, Sora, and Namine. These three are Larxene, Vexen, and Demyx."

I nodded my head to each of them in turn.

"Seifer's already had the pleasure of trying to put Roxas into place."

Riku glared.

"That bastard. Don't let him get to you Roxas. He thinks he runs the place cause his Dad's the principle."

I shrugged.

"He didn't seem that tough to me. I could easily kick his ass."

Axel laughed and gave me an admiring look.

"You're not bad kid. Not bad at all."

Sora looked at me curiously.

"How come you moved to town Roxas?"

I averted my eyes. I didn't wanna tell cause I knew they would pity me, but I knew they would find out one way or another.

"My mom… she was killed a few weeks ago. Me and Dad needed a change of scenery. There were just too many memories."

I could feel them all tense up. I felt the pity in their eyes burning holes into my skin. I had to get out of there.

"I've gotta go. See you guys later."

I turned my back on their confused faces.

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><p><strong>So that's part 2<strong>

**THe part from Axel's point of view wasn't planned but it begged to be written.**

**It's about to get really interesting in the next chapter so keep a look out.**

**Reviews please :O)**


	3. Art, Dinner, and Discoveries

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and it's characters do not belong to me.**

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><p>I hid out in a bathroom stall the rest of lunch. Undisturbed, I cried to my heart's content.<p>

_Will this pain never leave me?_

I desperately wanted my razor. I needed release.

The bell rang, signaling lunch had ended. I exited the stall and walked over to the row of sinks.

I looked into the mirror. My eyes were blood shot and swollen. A stranger could easily tell that I had been crying. I splashed some water on my face.

It was less noticeable. You'd have to know my face very well to tell that I had been crying.

_That means no one. Only Mom would've picked up on it._ I clenched the edge of the sink.

I heard the bathroom door open, signaling it was time for me to leave. I made my way into the hallway and dug out my schedule.

I had art next. This had been my favorite class at my old school. I hoped it would be here too.

Besides cutting, art was my only escape from this harsh reality.

I entered the classroom and handed my schedule to the teacher. He smiled at me and told me he was glad to have me in his class.

I thanked him and took a seat at an empty desk. I was patiently waiting for class to start when a flash of red caught my attention.

Axel had walked into the room. I wasn't sure if I should be excited or wary.

He winked at me before taking a seat across the room. I blushed.

Yes! I blushed like a girl. I'm well aware of my girl like behavior. Get off my case.

Finally the bell rang, starting class. The teacher started explaining the project we were starting.

"Portraits. It's more than just drawing someone. It's capturing a person's essence. Their secrets, feelings, and hidden turmoil's. I should be able to look at your drawing and have a deep understanding of your subject."

I instantly liked my art teacher. I enjoyed doing portraits.

"Now I'm going to randomly split you guys into groups. I want you to take time on this project. It's Friday, so you'll have to spend some time together over the weekend. It's due next week."

I groaned internally. It was obvious now, but for some reason I never thought about having to work in a group.

_Just what I need. To socialize. Well maybe I'll be in Axel's group. That would be a plus._

The teacher quickly started splitting the class up into groups of three.

I waited for my or Axel's name to be called. It never was.

"With Roxas in the class, we have an even amount of people. So Roxas and Axel are gonna have to be a team of two. Is that alright?"

"That's just fine. I'm not a people person anyways. I like Roxas though."

I looked over at Axel in surprise. _He wants to be my partner?_

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Every single girl in the class was shooting me death glares.

_So that's how it is._

Axel sauntered his way over to my desk.

"Hey Roxie. Lucky us getting paired up isn't it." I glared at the red head.

"My name's Roxas, Axel." He chuckled.

"What? I can't give you a nickname?" I ignored him. He looked at me intently.

"Were you crying Roxas?" I was stunned. _How can he tell? _I avoided the question.

"How do you wanna go about this?" He shrugged.

"How about I come over tonight and start my portrait of you?" I couldn't find anything wrong with that.

"Sure. Here let me write down my address." I quickly scribbled it down and passed him the piece of paper.

He looked at the paper, and then winked at me. The bell rang and he stood up.

"I'll see you at four Roxie."

With that, he was out the door leaving me shocked.

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><p>It felt like study hall would never end. I was bored out of my mind. The teacher wouldn't let us do anything but homework, and since I miraculously had none, I got to stare at a wall for an hour.<p>

When the bell finally rang, I literally jumped out of my seat and ran out of school.

I was glad that when I got back home I had the place to myself. I wouldn't have to lie to Dad about how horrible my first day was.

I walked into my room, dropped my book bag on the floor, and proceeded to hook up my much needed electronics.

I took my TV out of its box, and set it on my dresser. Then I untangled all the cables and plugged them into their appropriate spots.

I placed my Xbox next to my TV and all my games on the other side of it.

Then I put my computer on my desk and plugged it in.

_There. Everything's set. No boredom for me._

I still had half an hour until Axel was supposed to be here so I decided I might as well unpack.

Just as I finished hanging all my clothes up, the door bell rang.

Don't ask me why I did it, but before I left the room I looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't look all sweaty and gross after unpacking.

_I just wanna look good for my portrait. That's why I did it. No other reason._

I opened the door and their stood Axel. Still chewing on that damn tooth pick.

"Hey Roxie!" I glared at him.

"Roxas! Now get your ass in here." He chuckled but stepped past me into my house.

I shut the door and walked back to my bedroom. I assumed he would follow. He did.

"Sorry the place is a mess. I'm in the middle of unpacking. I'm not sure where I want everything yet."

He sat down in my desk chair and reclined into it.

"Doesn't bother me. Why don't you sit on your bed and watch TV so I can get something candid."

That sounded weird to me.

"You don't want me to pose?" He shook his head and started taking out his supplies.

"Nope. You'll feel awkward and I won't get you naturally. I can't draw people if they aren't acting natural."

I kind of understood that. I sat down on my bed and turned on my TV.

I could feel his eyes staring at me. Studying me. Observing me. For some reason it didn't bother me or make me feel uncomfortable.

"How old are you Roxas?" I jumped when he suddenly spoke.

"Uh 15. You?" He seemed amused by my reaction.

"I'm 16. Why so jumpy Roxie?"

_Freakin' asshole!_ I ignored him_. _The _Lost Boys_ came one and I got immersed into the movie.

Besides the sound coming from the TV, I could hear Axel's pencil moving across paper.

Just as the movie got to the part with vampires, Axel broke the silence.

"Roxas? Why were you crying earlier? Was it because of your Mom?"

I looked at him. I could tell there was pain in my eyes. He looked curious, and… worried?

I'm not sure why, but I felt like I could talk to him.

"She told me to come straight home. Instead I stopped to buy a video game before heading home. A _fucking _video game! She was killed while I was buying a stupid game. I could've saved her. It's my fault she's dead! Because I had to buy a video game, I'm never gonna see my mom again. I think that earns me the right to cry Axel."

I looked back at the TV. I felt like I might start crying again. I didn't want to do that in front of him.

"It's not your fault Roxas." He said it so quietly that I barely heard him. I looked at him. Stunned.

He had a look in his eyes that I couldn't name.

"Even if you would've gone straight home, doesn't mean anything would've changed. She might still have died. Or you could've been killed as well. I know I never knew her, but I doubt she wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

I was speechless. He'd said the words I so desperately needed to hear. The words that I knew Mom would've said to me if she were able.

_Mom doesn't blame me?_

I felt release when he said those words. Just hearing those words made everything seem like it would be okay. Everything was far from okay, but those words gave me hope.

_Who the hell is this guy?_

He went back to drawing me. I didn't know what to say to him so I just turned my attention back to the TV.

The movie had just gotten to my favorite part when Dad came home. It was 6:30.

"Roxas? I'm home." I groaned. Now I'd have to introduce Axel to Dad, and Dad would get all sappy cause I had made a friend.

I stood up.

"Come on. He'll just come up here and bug us if I don't go talk to him." He looked amused and followed me down the hall into the dining room.

"Hey Dad. How was work?" He had his back turned to me, rummaging in the fridge.

"It was great. Everything's all sorted out. I'm probably gonna be home around now, if not later."

He turned towards me and got an eyeful of Axel.

"Who's your friend Rox?"

_Let's just get this over with._

"Dad this is Axel. Axel this is my Dad. We're partners for an art project." Dad shook Axel's hand.

"It's nice to meet you Axel." I silently groaned.

"We've gotta get back to work Dad." I started heading towards the hallway. Dad stopped me.

"I was thinking about going out to dinner. Would you like to join us Axel?"

_No! This can't be happening._

"I would love to Sir." Axel winked at me.

_Someone shoot me now._

* * *

><p>I wasn't sure how it happened, but there I sat eating dinner with Dad and Axel. Some guy I just met.<p>

I had a feeling it would be awkward. I was wrong.

It was much worse.

I don't why Dad had a sudden urge to tell Axel about almost every embarrassing thing that had happened to me, but that's exactly what he was doing.

"—and then Roxas started crying cause his wish didn't come true. He really thought throwing a penny into a well would get him a puppy."

_Dad I'm gonna have to hurt you later. You have to sleep sometime._

Axel was cracking up. I shot him a glare.

"Dad don't you wanna know how my first day went?"

Yes I didn't wanna talk about it earlier, but I would talk about anything just to shut my dad up.

He looked at me confused.

"I know it went great Roxas. It had to since you met such a great friend." He went back to talking to Axel.

_Idiot. He's a fucking idiot._

Finally, it felt like we had been there for years instead of a few hours, we paid the check and were able to leave.

When we made it back to the house it was 8. Axel and I made our way back to my room.

"Your Dad's funny Roxas. I like him." I glared at him.

"My dad's an idiot. You just liked hearing all those stories about me. If you tell anyone I swear I will hurt you."

He looked at me and started laughing.

"You're so not intimidating Roxie. You're cute when you get angry." I blushed. I was back in girl mode.

"Sh-Shut up and get back to drawing me." I sat back down on my bad and started channel surfing.

_Did he seriously just call me cute?_

I didn't mind it earlier, but for some reason feeling his eyes on me made me feel self conscious.

At 9:30 he stopped drawing and stood up.

"I've just got a few rough sketches, and I've gotta get back home. Same time tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"Sure that sounds good." I was more than ready for him to leave.

Once he left my room, I rushed to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I was sure he could let himself out.

As I was drawing the blade across my skin, I heard my bedroom door open.

The noise scared me and I jolted the razor.

"Fuck!"

Like I said, I'm not suicidal. My cuts are always shallow. Just enough to bleed a little and allow me release. This cut was deep though.

"Shit!"

Someone knocked on my bathroom door.

"Roxas? I left my notebook. You okay?" Why'd it have to be Axel?

"I'm fine go away." He didn't listen to me. He opened the fucking door instead.

He zeroed in on the razor on the ground, and me holding a towel over my wound trying to staunch the bleeding.

We both froze and just looked at each other.

_Fuck! I'm screwed._

* * *

><p><strong>So Roxas' secret is out. How will he react. How will Axel take it?<strong>

**You'll just have to wait and see.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	4. Pact

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me.**

**Neither does Illuminated by Hurts**

* * *

><p>The silence was so profound that it was almost screaming.<p>

_How am I gonna explain this?_

I increased the pressure I was putting on my arm.

"Axel. This isn't what it looks like… I was putting some stuff away when you came in. You scared me and my hand slipped."

_There. That sounds believable. Doesn't it?_

He saw right through my lie. I could see it in the way he was looking at me. It was a mixture of pity, worry and disgust.

"Cut the bullshit Roxas. I can see the scars. How long?"

I curled myself into fetal position. It didn't work this time either. I felt tears welling up. They cascaded down my cheeks.

I was ashamed that someone, Axel, was seeing me like this.

"It's none of your business Axel. Just go." I didn't wanna feel his eyes on me anymore.

This was it. He'll want nothing to do with me anymore.

Axel took me by surprise. Instead of leaving me to drown in my self pity, he kneeled down next to me and took my arm into his hands.

I flinched cause my arm really hurt, but then I noticed how warm his hands were. How gently he was cradling my arm.

He moved my hand away from the wound to inspect it.

"So this is why you wear a wristband?" I was shocked at how casual he was being. I nodded.

"It's not that bad Roxas. It'll heal in a few days. I'm gonna clean it and bandage you up."

_Why is he taking care of me?_

He wetted the towel and gently rubbed it over the wound. It stung and I flinched. He lessened the pressure.

"Why are you doing this Axel?" He looked at me with a questioning look.

"What? Am I supposed to let you bleed to death? What kind of person do you take me for?" I was honest.

"An asshole really." He laughed.

"Seriously though. I could've easily done what you're doing. Why didn't you just leave?"

He pondered as he wrapped gauze around my wrist. He looked confused.

"I don't know Roxas. I didn't like seeing you in pain I guess."

I didn't like when he was finished bandaging my wrist. He let go.

_Why do I want him to touch me again?_

We walked back into my bedroom. I sat on my bed. He stood there awkwardly.

He ran his fingers through his hair.

_He wants to leave. He can't wait to get away from me._ He continued to surprise me.

"Look, I know it's none of my business but how long have you been doin that to yourself? Why do you even do it?"

There was no point in keeping secrets now.

"Since the night she died. It helps me forget about the pain. I usually only do shallow cuts. You surprised me and I cut deeper this time."

He just looked at me with those piercing green eyes. I wanted to hide from those eyes, but I also wanted to keep looking at them.

_Why does he conflict me so much?_

"If I asked you not to do it anymore, would you stop?"

_Stop acting like you care!_

I shook my head.

"Probably not. It's the only thing that helps Axel. You wouldn't understand."

_I can't believe I'm having this conversation with him._

He looked disappointed. He rephrased the question.

"How about only when you feel like you absolutely have to?" I chuckled.

"Then I'd be doing it all the time. I've made myself only do it once a day. That in itself is torture."

He looked angry.

"Dammit Roxas! You're not making this easy." I was shocked.

"Why the hell do you care so much? I'm no one to you. Someone you just met. You wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the project."

He looked confused again.

"God Roxas I don't know. You're my friend alright. I don't like to see my friends hurt."

I got quiet.

"I'm your friend?" He nodded. A thought seemed to strike him.

"How about this? Whenever you feel the need to cut yourself call me. We can talk it out. If I don't help you can go ahead and do it."

He sounded almost pleading.

I hesitated. He pouted.

_Dammit! How can someone_ _as hot as him look so damn cute?_

"Fine. I'll try it out. I doubt it'll work though." He smiled. He was back to looking hot.

I handed him my phone and he put his number in. I did the same thing with his.

He looked at the time.

"Dammit! I've really gotta go. I'm gonna be late." He was out the door with a wave.

I felt lonely after he left. He was the one person I didn't have to hide anything from. It felt like an immense weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

_Axel. He's not so bad after all._

I laid down to go to bad. I winced as a pain made its way up my arm.

I went into my bathroom to take some Tylenol hoping it would deaden the pain. I couldn't use my usual method. Not after making that pact with Axel.

I walked back into my room. I noticed I had a new text message.

**FRM: Axel**

**You shouldn't harm yourself Rox. It's not good for you. I know you think it's helping, but it's not. Your mom wouldn't want you to do this. Neither would your dad. You have people who care about you Roxas. By hurting yourself, you're hurting them. Including me and my friends. You're one of us now.**

**Night. –Axel**

I read and reread the message. He stunned me with his words. I never entertained the idea that I would be hurting others by cutting myself. That's the whole reason I did it. To wallow in my pain, and not let it affect others.

According to Axel I was doing the exact opposite.

After knowing Axel for a day, everything I thought I knew was out the window. My life was thrown off balance.

_Why does he have such an effect on me? How am I supposed to face him tomorrow?_

I couldn't sleep, so I put my headphones into my ears and turned on my Ipod.

I searched for a song to fit my mood. I decided on _Illuminated by Hurts._

**Time waits for no one, So do wanna waste some time,**

**Oh~Oh**

**Tonight**

**Don't be afraid of tomorrow, Just take my hand,**

**I'll make it feel so much better tonight.**

**Suddenly my eyes are open, Everything comes into focus.**

**Oh~**

**We are all illuminated, Lights are shining on our faces,**

**Blinding.**

**Swing me these sorrows,**

**And try delusion for a while. It's such a beautiful night, **

**You've got to lose inhibition, Romance your ego for a while.**

**Come on, Give it a try.**

**Suddenly my eyes are open, Everything comes into focus.**

**Oh~**

**We are all illuminated, Lights are shining on our faces,**

**Blinding.**

**We are all—**

**We are all—**

**Blinding.**

**We are all—**

**We are all—**

**Blinding.**

**Suddenly my eyes are open, Everything comes into focus.**

**Oh~**

**We are all illuminated, Lights are shining on our faces,**

**Blinding.**

**We are all—**

**We are all—**

**Blinding.**

I listened to the song a few more times before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So this chapter sorta starts the relationship between Roxas and Axel.<strong>

**I know it's short but this is all I had for this chapter.**

**I think the song fits well. If you havn't heard it you should got to youtube and listen to it.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	5. I Thought We Had A Deal?

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p>The sun peeking through my curtains woke me. I groaned and rolled over.<p>

My headphones fell out of my ears.

I could still feel the sun on my eyelids. I put my pillow over my head. It didn't help.

_Why's it so hard to get some fucking sleep?_

I opened my eyes and peeked at the time. It was noon.

_I guess it is time to be waking up._

I sat up and stretched. _Shower time._

The feel of the hot water quickly woke me up.

I walked into my room with my towel around my waist.

I decided today would be a lounge around the house day, and I quickly tugged on a pair of sweat pants.

I neglected to put a shirt on. It felt nice.

I recalled last night's events. _Axel._

It seemed all he did last night was surprise me.

He had every right to turn away from me in disgust, but he didn't. He stayed. He helped. He was coming over again later. I would call him whenever I had an urge. He was my friend.

I smiled to myself.

I had always found it hard to make friends.

I was only friends with Hayner, Pence and Olette cause we grew up together.

I already had friends though. Axel, Sora and Riku. Namine and Kairi too. I wasn't sure about the other three. They seemed a little stand offish and hostile.

I plopped down on my bed. I lay there for a bit. I decided to text him.

**Hey. Wat time r u comin ovr latr?**

I waited for it to send before heading to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

I looked through the fridge and quickly deducted that we had jack shit in the food department.

I grabbed a pop tart out of the cabinet and sat down at the kitchen table.

I noticed that Dad had left me a note and some money.

_**Roxas, **_

_**I didn't wanna wake you. I left you some money. Could you run to the store and stock up on groceries? We can't keep living on take out. I'll be home around 10.**_

_**-Dad**_

Running to the store would easily pass the time by until Axel got here. When I was done eating, I headed back to my room.

My phone beeped, reminding me I'd missed a message.

**Wat? U miss me that much Roxie? Im touched.**

_Bastard._

**Shut up Axel. Just wanna make sure Im home when u decide 2 come ovr. And stop callin me Roxie!**

He quickly texted back.

**Y wouldn't u b home?**

It seemed an innocent enough question.

**My dad wants me 2 run 2 the store. We have nothin 2 eat in the house. Im not sure how long itll take me. So wen do u plan on comin ovr?**

I stripped myself of my sweatpants, and traded them for a pair of jeans. Tugged on a t-shirt and threw some shoes on before reading my next message.

**O idk Roxie. 3 sound good 2 u?**

I thought about it. It was 12:30 now, so that gave me plenty of time to shop and put things away. Maybe finish putting all my crap away.

**Sounds good. C u then.**

I headed back to kitchen and stuffed the food money into my pocket. I made a list of things I would get before heading out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I absolutely hated grocery shopping!

Yes, I've never done it before. It had been Mom's job.

But I absolutely hated it with a burning passion now.

The store was crowded with old couples debating on what kind of food wouldn't stop them up.

You know what I mean.

The cart had a squeaky wheel, and I wouldn't know a deal if it slapped me in the face.

I had to do careful math to make sure I wouldn't over spend.

It was all the harder, because I had to buy stuff that Dad could cook without burning the house down or give us food poisoning. Let's just say my choices were very limited.

Finally I was satisfied with what I had chosen to get.

I mainly got TV dinners and frozen pizzas, cereal, stuff to make salads and sandwiches with, and the usual junk food.

I made my way to check out lines.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me!_

There was only one line open, and it had like 20 people in it. I glanced at my match. It was 1:50.

_I can still make it on time. I think._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was wrong. The checkout lady was very old. I swear she was blind. It took her forever to ring me up.

I finally got out of there. It was 2:30. If I walked fast enough, I could make it back in time.

I set a brisk pace, as fast as I could go carrying three bags of groceries.

I finally made it onto my street, when I groaned.

Walking towards me were three people I really didn't wanna see. Seifer and—I couldn't remember the other two's names.

I ignored them and tried walking past them. It was a hopeless effort.

"Well well well. What do we have here?" His cronies laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Leave me alone Seifer." I tried walking past him. He blocked my way.

"I just wanna play blondie, and when dear Axel isn't here to protect you."

I could've easily defended myself, but I was inhibited by the groceries.

"Fuck off Seifer!" He looked shocked but then he just leered.

"Ooh, blondie knows how to play." His friends laughed.

I tried walking past him again. This time he shoved me to the ground. My injured arm hit the ground and winced.

Seifer faked remorse.

"Oh no? Did I hurt you?" He held his hand to his mouth in false innocence.

I glared at him. Just as I was about to stand up and throw some punches, Sefier's words stopped me.

"I know why you're here blondie. The principla's my old man see? I looked through your file. You're mother just died didn't she?"

I froze in shock. I had never heard her death be talked about with such disinterest.

"No. She didn't die. The bitch was murdered wasn't she? So sorry."

He didn't sound sorry at all. I started crying silent tears.

Sefier and his friends started laughing.

"Oh I made the wittle baby cwy. Does the baby miss his mommy?" They laughed even harder. I clenched my fists.

I wanted to run. I wanted to disappear.

"I thought I told you to leave the kid alone Seifer?" Their laughter stopped abruptly.

I snapped my head up in surprise and saw a glint of red.

_Axel._ I stopped crying instantly.

"What the fuck do you want fire head?" Seifer sounded confident but he looked nervous.

Axel stood there lighting a cigarette. He looked unconcerned.

_He smokes? _It was a silly thought to have at the time, but I was curious.

"I want you to leave the kid alone. I'm not in a good mood right now. Don't push me Seifer."

Seifer took a step back and started looking at Axel and me. He sneered.

"What you two fuck buddies now? That's so fitting. Two fucked up people belong together I guess. One lost his mommy and got depressed, the other got dumped by Leon and got depressed."

Axel flinched when Seifer said Leon.

_Who is he? Axel's gay?_

So not the time to be worrying about it but I couldn't help myself.

"Seifer. I said don't _fucking_ push me!" Axel looked pissed, and scary as hell.

I flinched at the malice in his voice. So did Seifer.

"Fuck you Axel. Come one guys. Let's get the fuck out of here." Seifer and his friends walked away.

I couldn't move. I was still shocked by Seifer's words and Axel still looked scary.

When he approached me I flinched.

"Roxas? I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna help you up." He raised an eyebrow at me.

I stood up.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting up myself. Now help me carry one of these bags to the house."

I thought he'd retort but all he did was chuckle and grab two bags.

"I said one."

"You shouldn't be carrying anything with that injured arm."

I purposely shifted the bag I was carrying to my injured arm. He rolled his eyes.

"You're a stubborn one aren't ya?" I ignored the question. We were at my house.

I dug my keys out and unlocked the door. He followed me into the kitchen.

_I so need to cut myself right now! But with him here I'll never get away with it._

"Can you start putting this stuff away? I need to go the bathroom."

I didn't wait for an answer. I headed for the hallway hoping he was clueless. He wasn't.

"Roxas. I thought we had a deal?" He sounded sad instead of angry.

I stopped in my tracks.

"Just let me do this Axel. You heard what he said to me didn't you?" I started walking again.

He grabbed my upper arm. Avoiding where I had injured myself.

"It's not worth it Roxas. You have to stop." His voice was firm, but it almost sounded like he was begging.

It had no effect on me this time. I ripped my arm out of his grasp and ran for my room.

He was right behind.

"Leave me alone Axel!" I tried shutting my door on him, but he managed to grab it before I could.

"No! I'm not gonna sit by and let you mutilate yourself!" I sprinted for my bathroom.

Just as I grabbed my razor, he grabbed me from behind and pulled me back into my bedroom.

My razor clanged on the tile floor. We fell onto my bedroom carpet.

I was sobbing at this point.

"Let me go! Let go of me dammit! Axel! Please!" I was kicking and thrashing.

He refused to let go. He adjusted his grip so he had a better hold on me.

"I'm not letting go until you calm down and promise me you won't do it!"

My tears were flowing relentlessly. I kicked; hit, scratched, and bit at every part of him I could reach.

He still wouldn't let go.

After I tired myself out and stopped moving I realized how warm Axel's arm felt around me.

"Have you calmed down now?" He sounded patient and understanding instead of angry now.

I assessed my emotions. I was still upset, and I felt the want to cut myself instead of the incessant need from ten minutes ago.

I nodded my head. He loosened his grip slightly.

"Promise me Roxas, that you won't cut yourself." It wasn't a question. It was a demand.

I nodded my head.

"I promise." My voice cracked. I meant it.

He let go of me entirely and slid away from me. He studied me carefully.

Probably thought I was gonna make a break for it. I didn't blame him.

"I'm sorry about that. I just couldn't let you do it." He didn't sound sorry. He was glad he had stopped me. I was too.

"Thanks Axel." I stood up. He watched me as I made my way to my bad and lay down.

"Would you mind going and putting the groceries away? "

* * *

><p>I hesitated when he asked me to leave the room. He gave me a half grin.<p>

"I'm not gonna do it Axel. When you're done you can work on my portrait some more."

I believed him and left the room. While putting the groceries away I was lost in thought.

_Damn that Seifer! He just had to bring him up didn't he? Just when I'm starting to get over the bastard._

_I'm glad I was able to help Roxas, but how much help can I actually be._

_If he wants to do it and I'm not around he'll do it without thinking twice._

I wandered back to his room feeling frustrated.

He was lying on his with his Ipod in. He grinned at me.

"See? I haven't moved." I rolled my eyes.

"Smart ass. Just stay like that. I'm gonna get my drawing pad out." He took my words to heart and went remotely still.

I laughed. He laughed too but it sounded strangled. Like he wasn't used to the action.

He looked shocked and held his hand to his throat.

I started sketching him like that. He went back to laying down. It didn't matter. I had that expression etched into my mind.

I was so immersed in my drawing that I barely heard him say my name.

"Axel?" I looked up from my drawing. He was staring at me nervously.

"Yea Roxas?" He started fidgeting like he was uncomfortable.

"I noticed that you were smoking earlier. If I have to give up cutting I think you should give up smoking."

I was taken aback, and started to retaliate. His words sank in and stopped me.

I stood up and walked over to his window. I dug my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and tossed it out the window. I looked at him.

"Happy?" He nodded and closed his eyes. He had gone back to listening to his music.

I shook my head at him.

_Why is he worrying about me when he cuts into himself every day? His habit is much worse. And I only smoke like one cigarette a week._

His request seemed fair though. I didn't need to smoke. It was just something I did when I was pissed.

I sat down at his desk and started sketching him again.

The quiet bugged me so I tried starting a conversation.

"Whatcha listenin to Roxie?" Nothing. No reply. No yelling that his name was Roxas.

I looked at him. He had fallen asleep. I looked at the clock.

_Who falls asleep at 5?_

He mumbled something and I turned my attention back to him.

"Hayner…"

I narrowed my eyes.

_Who the fucks Hayner. Wait? Why do I care?_

I mentally shook myself, and went back to my drawing.

His computer beeped. He had gotten an IM from… Hayner?

**Hey man! How r things goin? I miss u. Im stuck spendin all my time w/ Olette and Pence.**

**I cant fool around w/ Pence. Hes not as hot as u. ;) Get bck 2 me as soon as u can.**

I narrowed my eyes at the screen. Then I caught myself.

_Why am I getting all worked up?_

I was dumbfounded by my behavior, and forced myself to stay focused on my sketch.

* * *

><p><strong>Well that's chapter 5. Not much to it, but it sets the tone for the next few chapter's coming up.<strong>

**They are both very dumb, oblivious, and in denial.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	6. Strange Behavior

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and it's characters do not belong to me in any way.**

* * *

><p> A week had passed since Axel had made me promise I wouldn't cut myself. I had managed to only cut myself twice that whole week. I felt pretty proud of myself.<p>

Our agreement was working out well. Whenever I felt the need to cut myself, I would pick up my phone and call Axel.

We would talk it out. He'd calm me down. Convince me it would be okay.

Those two days that I had cut myself it had been so bad, that Axel actually came over. It still didn't help. I knew he was disappointed both times but he didn't nag me about it. He quietly accepted it.

Axel seemed a little tense about something, but I didn't ask.

I was dying to question him about what Seifer had said about Leon too. I wanted to know who he was, and why Axel had reacted the way he did.

We weren't like that though. We were friends, yes. But we didn't go spilling our deepest darkest secrets to each other. Him knowing and helping me with mine was a complete coincidence.

I wouldn't question him.

I sat with Axel and his, my, friends every day at lunch. I really liked them. For the first time in a month I felt legitimately happy. I was still depressed over Mom's death, but it wasn't as bad.

Axel and my new friends had become my new habit. A better, safer, and healthier one. One that would be so much harder to quit. I hoped I would never have to.

"Roxas? Why are you spacing out?" I snapped out of my train of thought. Sora was looking at me with a worried expression.

I smiled. A real smile. Not a forced one.

"Sorry Sora. I was just thinking about what I'm gonna do tomorrow."

He instantly relaxed.

"You should go to the movies with us. Can he Riku? Axel?"

It was just the four of us at lunch today. Namine and Kairi were with their boyfriends and I didn't care about the other three.

Since I started eating with them they had ditched the table.

Riku shrugged. He didn't care as long as Sora would be there.

Axel teased him.

"And what if we say no Sora? What are you gonna do?" Sora pouted.

"That's not fair Axel. He's your best friend." Axel laughed. I laughed.

"I guess I have no choice then. Rox you gonna tag along?" It sounded fun.

"What are we gonna see?" Riku rattled off some title I had never heard of.

"I don't know what that's about." Sora gushed.

"It's supposed to be really scary, but Riku will protect me." Sora clinged to his arm.

The silver haired teen failed at hiding his blush.

I tensed up and started to rethink going. I wasn't good with scary movies.

Axel noticed.

"What? Are you a chicken Roxie?" I glared at him.

"No! I am not a chicken. And for the last time my name is Roxas. R-O-X-A-S."

The three of them laughed at me. I sulked and went back to eating my food.

"Hmm. So the new kids got a bit of a temper. How irritating." We all looked over to where the voice had come from.

It was the bitchy blonde girl. I think her name is Larxene.

Axel and Riku scowled at her, while Sora sorta shrunk behind Riku. I didn't blame him.

"What do you want Larxene?" Axel's irritation didn't faze her.

She sat down and wrapped her arms around Axel.

"I missed you Axel. We should go out tonight." She waggled her eyebrows. "I can show a good time."

I gagged in my throat. She may be hot, but I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.

Apparently Axel was thinking the same thing. He entangled himself from her grasp.

"Sorry Larxene. I've got plans tonight with these guys."

She looked affronted and threw me a death glare before turning back to Axel.

"Ever since this _boy _moved to town, you've done nothing but spend time with him! Why Axel? What's so damn special about him? I'd understand if it was Leon but it's not!"

Larxene gasped. Riku and Sora froze. Axel had a scary aura emanating from him. I was confused.

I didn't know what was going on, but I knew Larxene had gone too far. She tried to apologize.

Axel cut her off. His voice sounded flat.

"Who I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them is none of your damn business. I would appreciate it if you didn't bring up unnecessary things."

She nodded her head.

"Axel I'm so sorr—" Axel cut her off again.

"Fuck off Larxene." She looked close to tears and ran off.

Axel stood up and started walking towards the school.

"See you in class Roxas."

I watched his retreating figure, until it disappeared inside. I turned back to Riku and Sora with a confused expression on my face.

"What the hell was that all about? Who's Leon?" They looked uncomfortable.

"I'm not sure if we should tell you that Roxas." Sora nodded his head in agreement.

"It's a very touchy subject for Axel. All I can tell you is that Axel used to date him, and Leon dumped him. If Axel opens up to you, you'll get the details from him."

I nodded my head in understanding. Axel hadn't told them my secret after all.

_It has nothing to do with me anyways._

The bell rang. I hopped up and told Sora and Riku bye.

I made my way towards class. I wasn't sure how I should face Axel in art.

_It'll probably be best to ignore him. He won't be in the mood for talking._

I walked into class and was taken by surprise.

Axel was sitting in his usual desk next to mine, and when he saw me he flashed me a wink.

_Is this the same guy that was about to kill Larxene? Bi-polar much?_

I decided to act like nothing had happened at lunch.

"You know what we're doing today?" He popped a tooth pick in his mouth and started chewing on it.

"I think he's giving back the graded portraits. I can't wait. I wanna see how hot you made me."

We had decided not to show our portraits to each other till we got them back with grades.

I laughed.

"You're an idiot Axel. I just drew you as I saw you." He smirked at me.

"So you think I'm hot then? It's okay Roxie. It's a natural reaction to someone of my looks."

I hid a blush and glared at him.

"Keep saying idiotic things and I'll push that damn tooth pick down your throat."

He ignored my comment.

"So are you gonna come with us to the movies tomorrow night? Or are you too scared?"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I am not scared. I'm… just not sure if Dad'll let me. That's it." I hoped he didn't see through my lie like he usually did.

I think it worked. Sorta.

"Are you kidding? Your Dad loves me. I could probably say I'm gonna take you to the moon and he wouldn't care."

I hated how true that was. Dad had taken an unnatural liking to Axel.

"You don't wanna disappoint Sora do you?" I pictured Sora's sad face and gave in.

"Fine. I'll go to the damn movie. Are you happy now?" He grinned.

"Very. Now I won't have to hear Sora nag me about why you're not there."

I felt a little twinge of disappointment at those words. It didn't really matter to him if I was there or not.

_Why should it? Why do I even care? _

_The guys an asshole. _

_An asshole that's helping you with your problems out of the goodness of his heart. _

_He's my best friend. Of course you'd feel attached to him. He's just a really good friend._

I mentally shook myself. Axel looked at me with a weird expression.

"What?"

"You just had a very confused expression on your face. What's up?"

It always took me by surprise how well he could read my face.

"Oh. I just wasn't sure how much money I had. I might have to ask Dad for some cash."

He rolled his eyes at me like I was stupid.

"If you don't have the money I could always buy your ticket." I blanched.

"You don't have to do that Axel." He shook his head. He had decided and there was no changing his mind.

"It's no big deal Roxas. I wouldn't mind paying for you." That wasn't the problem.

I hated feeling helpless. He saw how vulnerable and weak I was, enough as it was.

_How do I explain that to him though? He'll just shrug it off and tell me I'm being stupid._

"Fine, but if you have to I'm gonna pay you back as soon as I can." At least I wouldn't be in debt to him.

He sniggered.

"Sure you will Roxas." Before I could ask him what he meant, the teacher walked in.

"Alright guys. I have all the portraits graded, and I tried to give every one of you a critique. As always if you have any questions about your grade or critique, come see me after I'm done passing them all back."

Whenever he passed back work, he gave us the whole period to compare with others in the class and ask him for constructive criticism.

I watched the teacher as he passed back the sketches; I wanted to know how well I did on mine.

I almost didn't realize Axel was staring at me. I tensed up.

"What are you staring at?" He looked at me curiously.

Just as he was about answer, our sketches were laid down on our desks.

"Very well done you two."

We had both gotten A's. He didn't really give either of us a critique. He just wrote on both of ours that we captured the other perfectly and loved how the emotions jumped off the page.

I quickly processed this before noticing Axel's portrait of me. It took my breath away.

I had my right foot propped on my bed and I was resting my cheek on my knee. I was smiling, but the smile didn't reach my eyes. My eyes were clouded with so much pain and sadness that I almost started crying.

_Was this really how I looked_ a week ago? _Do I still look like this now?_

I turned to Axel in need of an explanation. His expression caught me off guard.

He was staring at my drawing with a look of disappointment in his eyes.

"Axel? Is there something wrong with mine?" He nodded his head.

"What? The teacher had no problems with it." He looked at me shocked.

"Roxas I look absolutely normal! This can't be right. I'm supposed to look like a sexy beast!"

I snapped. I snatched that damn toothpick out of his mouth and threw it at him.

"I told you to stop saying ridiculous things Axel!" He laughed and grabbed me in a headlock.

"Whatcha gonna do about it Roxie?" I struggled against him.

"Let go of me! Axel Let go of me now!" He started giving me a noogie.

"It must suck to be short Rox!" He was cracking up.

I couldn't help myself. His laughter was infectious. I started laughing too.

"Alright! I give I give." He let go of me and pointed a finger at me.

"Show respect for those taller than you." I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're an idiot." He just grinned.

* * *

><p>Axel lived a block before me so we walked home from school together every day.<p>

We were on our way home when I realized I had never figured out why Axel was staring at me.

I peeked over at him. He was doing it again.

"Why are you staring at me Axel? You were doin it in class too. What's your damage?"

It didn't seem like he cared that he had been caught.

"Who's Hayner Rox?" I didn't expect him to know that name. I had never talked about my old friends to him.

He didn't wait for me to answer.

"Is he your boyfriend?" I had told him I was bi a few days ago. He didn't seem surprised.

The thought of Hayner being my boyfriend was hilarious to me.

"That's gross Axel. Hayner's not my boyfriend. I've never had one. I haven't had a girlfriend either. He's my best friend."

We lapsed into silence. He looked thoughtful.

"You've never been with anyone?" He sounded genuinely surprised. I shook my head.

"Nope. Me and Hayner used to fool around a little bit but nothing more."

_Why am I explaining this to him? Why does he want to know?_

He was back to being thoughtful. He stopped. I stopped.

"I thought I was your best friend?" He sounded hurt.

I looked at him with a puzzled expression.

_What's his deal?_

"You are my best friend Axel. Hayner was my old best friend. You're my new one. You're both my best friends."

We started walking again.

Just as he was about to turn onto his block he whispered something.

"What if I don't wanna share…" It was said so quietly that I almost wasn't sure if I heard right.

I watched him walk a few steps before continuing home.

_Did he really say that? What'd he mean by it?_

I was utterly confused by his behavior.

* * *

><p><strong>What's going on with Axel?<strong>

**Who's Leon?**

**How will Roxas handle this strange behavior?**

**You'll find out all this out in chapters to come.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	7. Sleep Over

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdome Hearts and its characters do not belong to me**

* * *

><p> The rest of the way home I mulled over possible reasons for Axel's behavior.<p>

The only thing I could think of was what happened at lunch when Larxene brought up Leon, but I didn't see how that could relate to the way he was acting towards me.

It hurt my head thinking about it so I just dropped it. Him, Sora and Riku were comin over to stay the night so I'd assess his behavior then.

_Of course he might act normally with Riku and Sora there…_

My head started hurting again.

I was shocked that I was actually having them over for the night. A week ago it would've never happened. Before Axel it would've been impossible.

Now that I had better control of myself, I didn't have anything to worry about.

I walked inside and stepped into the living room to talk to Dad.

"Are you enjoying your day off?" He turned his attention away from the TV and smiled at me.

I smiled back and sat down.

"Yea Rox. How was school?" I shrugged.

"Same as every day." He nodded his head.

"Do you wanna go out for dinner?" I looked at him in confusion.

"Did you forget that my friends were sleeping over? We were planning on ordering pizza."

Recollection hit him and he looked embarrassed.

"Yea I did forget. Sorry Rox. I can manage to feed myself." I felt bad.

"There'll be plenty of pizza Dad. You can have some." He shook his head.

"I'm not really in a pizza mood Rox. I'll figure something out."

I tried to convince him a few more times before giving up and heading towards my bedroom.

I dropped my book bag on my bed, and sat down at my desk.

I opened up the internet and realized I had an e-mail from Hayner.

**Hey Roxas! I miss u. Olette and Pence say hey and that they miss u 2. How have things been?**

**So winter breaks in 2 weeks and I was wonderin if ur Dad would mind if I can come visit for a few days? My rents r totally cool w/ it. Let me kno wat u think.**

I read it and a smile pulled at my lips. I hadn't realized how much I missed them.

I also felt weird after hearing what Axel said. If Hayner came to visit he would have to meet Axel and I wasn't sure how that would go down.

I missed him though. Axel would just have to get over it. He doesn't own my life. I quickly typed a reply.

**Hey bud! I miss u 2. Tell the same 2 Olette and Pence. Things have been good. Im learning 2 deal. Ive met some good friends. Their staying the night 2tonight. Id love 4 u 2 visit, I just have 2 talk 2 Dad about it. Ill let u kno wat he says.**

Once I sent the e-mail, I started my homework, so I'd be done by the time the guys got here.

Halfway through my homework my phone went off. I had a text from Axel.

**Hey Rox. Sorry about earlier. Ive been in a funk. Its nothing personal.**

_The mood swings this guy has!_

I quickly typed a reply.

**Its fine dude. No big deal. Anything u wanna talk about?**

I figured if I could confide in him, he could confide in me too. Right?

Apparently not.

**Its nothing. Don't worry about it. Ill c u later.**

I read the text and felt dismissed.

_What the hell? So he can know every little thing about me, but he can't tell me anything?_

I realized what I was thinking.

_Roxas stop! If he doesn't wanna talk to me, he doesn't wanna talk to me. It's none of my business._

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

I set back to work on my homework when my phone went off again. It was Sora this time.

**Hey Roxas! Me and Riku will be there at six. Is that okay with you?**

It amused me that Sora typed everything out in his texts.

**Yea bud. That's fine. C u then. **

Dad knocked on my door.

_How many times am I gonna be interrupted?_

"Come on in Dad." He stepped in.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna get dinner with a friend from work. He wants to discuss a big business deal. I'll be out for an hour or two."

I wasn't surprised. He used to do this all the time before—I stopped myself.

If I thought about her I'd feel the urge. No urges tonight.

"That's fine Dad. I'll be here all night with my friends. I did have something I wanted to ask you about though?"

He gave me a questioning look.

"Do you think Hayner could stay with us for a few days over winter break?"

He looked surprised and conflicted.

"Umm I don't know Roxas. I'll have to think about it. I have to talk to his parents too."

I understood. It was a lot to ask.

"His parents are fine with it. Just let me know when you decide."

I turned back to my desk, and he shut the door behind him.

Our relationship was so simple.

A few minutes later there was another knock at my door. I was irritated at this point.

"What Dad?" I heard a chuckle behind me.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not your dad." I turned around and there stood Axel.

He looked normal, like nothing weird had happened today. Like he hadn't blown me off when I offered to help.

It pissed me off.

"How the hell did you get in here?" He looked amused.

"I got here when your dad was leaving. He let me in." He plopped down on my bed like he owned the place.

"Why are you here so early? I thought you weren't comin over till 7?"

My words were harsher than necessary but I had a right to be a little angry.

He shrugged.

"I was bored and had nothing else to do until then. Do you want me to leave?"

He sounded a little disappointed. It was hard to stay mad at him. I sighed.

"No Axel. You can stay. I was just a little surprised is all."

I went back to doing my homework. It was quiet in the room but it was a comfortable silence.

"What are you doing Roxas?" I tried to keep my patience in check.

"Homework. You should try doing it sometime." I saw him staring at me out of the corner of my eye.

"You're doing homework on a Friday? Leave it, let's play Xbox."

If I looked at him I knew he'd be pouting. Then I'd never get my work done.

"If I do it now I won't have to worry about it over the weekend." It got quiet for a minute.

"You're no fun…" I could literally hear the pout in his voice. I almost gave in. Almost.

"Quit acting like a child Axel."

Something I noticed in the week I'd known him was that he only acted like this around me.

I assumed Riku and the others wouldn't tolerate it.

_Why do I tolerate it? It's fucking irritating._

"Fine. I'll watch some TV then." He still sounded like he was sulking, but at least he was done pestering me.

I finished my homework an hour later. I stood up and stretched. Axel was glaring at me.

"Took you long enough. I thought I was gonna die from boredom Roxie!"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I think you'll live." He went to retort when the door bell rang.

_Saved by the bell._

"Why don't you go let them in, and I'll order the pizza?"

I picked up my phone and started dialing as he left the room.

I wasn't sure how much we would eat so I ordered four larges with everything on it.

What we didn't eat I could always put in the fridge.

As I got off the phone, Axel walked back in with Sora and Riku.

"Hey g…" My greeting died in my throat as Sora ran up and hugged me.

"Hey Roxas!"

Sora hugging me caught me off guard.

_When's the last time I was hugged?_

I knew immediately.

It was that last morning with Mom. As I was leaving for school she ran up behind me and gave me a hug and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"I love you Roxas."

She did that every morning. And every morning I pulled away.

"Ugh! Gross Mom."

I hadn't realized until now how much I missed that. I returned Sora's hug with a tight squeeze.

He squeaked and pulled away.

"Roxas. You're hurting me." I instantly let go.

"Sorry Sora. You made me remember something." Sora and Riku gave me confused looks.

I didn't look at Axel. He would know something was up. He would know I wanted to cut myself.

He always did. It was like he could read my mind.

_Hell, he can probably tell just by looking at me._

"How about we play some Xbox? I bet I can kick all your asses!"

We all grabbed a controller and started talking trash to each other.

_There that's normal. He can't read anything into this. Then in a while if I still need to, I'll say I need to go to the bathroom. He can't deny me that privilege._

* * *

><p><em>What the hell is wrong with me? I've been acting so weird this past week!<em>

Ever since I saw that damn IM from that Hayner guy, and Roxas said his name in his sleep I've just been… off.

All week I've been dying to ask Roxas about it, and when I finally did get an answer. I wanted to punch something.

I'm surprised there's not a hole in my wall at this point.

I hated hearing Roxas talk about Hayner with so much care in his voice. I shouldn't have though.

That's probably how I talk about Sora, Riku, Namine, Kairi and… Roxas.

And what hell was I talking about when I said I didn't wanna share? I sounded like a damn five year old!

Roxas isn't some toy that belongs to me. He's a person. I don't get all upset when he's around Sora and Riku.

Okay maybe that's not true, cause when Roxas hugged Sora back I wanted to snatch the brunette out of his arms.

A totally irrational response. There was no rhyme or reason for my behavior.

Then I saw the look in Roxas' eyes before he turned away from me.

_Somethings wrong. He's upset and wants to do it. I can tell. He's trying to hide it too._

I wasn't sure how I should handle this. I couldn't exactly confront him with Sora and Riku there.

While we were playing Xbox, I watched him carefully for any sign that he was gonna go to the bathroom and do it.

He never did. As the time went on it seemed the pain in his eyes had dulled.

I was glad. I hated seeing him in pain.

_Just like I would hate seeing any other of my friends in pain. It's a natural reaction._

The door bell rang and I snapped out of my reverie.

Roxas stood up.

"I'll go get that. Axel you wanna help me get some drinks?"

It surprised me that he asked, but I didn't hesitate. I could ask him if he was okay.

Roxas answered the door and paid for the pizzas.

While we were in the kitchen I took my chance.

"Hey Rox are you okay? You didn't look so good earlier." He looked at me in surprise.

"U-um I'm alright now. When Sora hugged me it reminded me that the last person that hugged me was Mom. I wanted to cut myself but I controlled it."

I felt my mouth split into a wide smile. He looked taken aback.

It was a huge relief that he could stop himself without even talking to me. Wasn't it?

If I was honest with myself, I liked being the only one who knew. The only one that could help.

_If he doesn't need my help, where does that leave me? This is the whole reason we became friends._

"Axel you're creeping me out. Comon let's take this to my room. I'm starving."

I followed him with a less enthusiasm as a few minutes ago.

I was back to being confused.

* * *

><p>I wasn't surprised when Axel asked me if I was okay. I knew that he would be able to tell.<p>

What surprised me was the look on his face. There was something in his eyes I couldn't describe.

While we ate, we filled the room with incessant chatter. I couldn't focus.

_Why is he acting so damn weird?_

"—Roxas?" My name snapped me back to reality.

"Sorry. What?" Riku gave me a concerned look.

"You alright Roxas? You've been spacing out a lot today." I felt bad for worrying them.

"Yea. I'm fine. What were you saying?" I stared at Sora and Riku waiting for them to ask the question again.

I was avoiding Axel's gaze again, but I could still feel it.

"I said, are you going to the movies with us tomorrow?"

Sora said it with a mouthful of pizza so it came out all jumbled, but I got the gist of it.

"Of course I'm going. What time do you guys wanna go?" Sora beamed when I said I was going.

I would've thought the kid had a crush on me if it weren't for the fact that he was in love with Riku and he was like that with everybody.

Axel answered my question so I had no choice but to turn to him. He had a glare on his face for some reason.

"I think we should go about six. We'll probably sleep in tomorrow, and six will give us plenty of time to go home, shower, and change. I bet you two are dying to be alone together too."

Riku and Sora blushed. It amused me how open they were about their relationship but still acted shy when people referred to it.

It was nice. I wanted to be with someone like that, but it was still too soon.

"That sounds fine Axel, but what are you and Roxas gonna do until then?" Sora sounded indignant.

Axel rolled his eyes.

"What do you think shortie? I'm gonna go home and Roxas is gonne stay here. We'll meet up at the theatre at six."

Riku rolled his eyes and Sora pouted.

"You're gonna leave Roxas all alone? Why?"

Axel looked confused. I'm pretty sure I did too.

"What the hell are you talking about Sora?" I nodded my head.

I wanted to know this too. Sora looked impatient.

"Well isn't tomorrow your guys' first date?"

Me and Axel froze. You could hear a pin drop in the room

_Date? Me? On a date? With Axel? Where the hell did Sora get that idea?_

We pointed at each other and spoke at the exact same time.

"I'M NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH HIM!" We looked at each other. We did it again.

"NOT WITH HIM!" We did it again.

"WHAT THE HELL WOULD MAKE YOU SAY THAT?" Sora was giggling. Riku looked amused.

"See babe? I told you they weren't." Sora nodded.

"It's so obvious though. I thought they would understand." We talked at the same time again.

"WHAT'S OBVIOUS? UNDERSTAND WHAT?" Riku gave us an exasperated look.

"You two really are clueless aren't you? Well I'm not saying anything. Figure it out on your own."

I looked at Axel. He looked at me. We both quickly looked away.

_I would never date Axel. That's just weird. Isn't it? Damn you Sora!_

My Dad knocked on the door. I was glad for the interruption.

"Come on in Dad." He stepped inside.

"Dad this is Sora and Riku. You know already know A-Axel."

_Did I really just stutter over his name!_

"Hey Axel! It's nice to meet you two. I just wanted to say good night Roxas."

I smiled.

"Good night Dad." He went to leave but he stopped.

"Oh, and its fine with me if Hayner comes and stays for a few day over winter break."

I hopped up and hugged him.

"Thanks Dad. Good night." He left the room. I glanced at the clock.

It was already ten.

"You guys wanna play some more Xbox before we go to bed?"

They nodded. While we were playing I thought I could feel a green eyed glare boring into my back.

* * *

><p><strong>I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I'm looking forward to the next one.<strong>

**Thanks for all the reviews! They are what keep me going.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	8. Sighting

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me**

**This ones really emotional towards the end so be ready.**

* * *

><p>Axel and I were standing outside the movie theatre waiting for Riku and Sora.<p>

We were looking everywhere but at each other.

It was really awkward.

I hadn't felt awkward around Axel since that first night he walked in on me cutting myself.

This was far worse.

It was hard to feel awkward around someone who knew me so deeply, but I did.

Ever since last night when Sora said this was a date, it's been like this.

I had a hard time sleeping. Axel tossed and turned so I think he did too.

_This isn't a date. There's nothing to worry about._

Normally we'd be bickering about something stupid by now.

This was far from normal.

"Hey Roxas?" I reluctantly turned my attention to him.

"What?" That came out a lot harsher than necessary and he glared at me.

"Would you calm the fuck down! No matter what Sora and Riku thought, this isn't a date."

I was shocked. He took a breath and started more calmly.

"You're a great guy Roxas, and I like you. But I don't like you like that so you have nothing to worry about. You're my best friend. Nothing more. Can we cut this awkward bull shit out? I don't like it."

_There. He cleared the air. We can go back to normal now. So why the __**fuck**__ do I feel disappointed!_

I heaved a sigh of relief and smiled at him.

"Yea Axel. I was just really weirded out. Sorry about that."

I ran my fingers through my hair out of discomfort.

He threw his arm around my shoulders.

"No problem Roxie. So are you gonna be screamin in fright? Cry into my shoulder? It's okay to be scared."

I punched him in the stomach and he doubled over emitting a grunt of pain.

"So… violent. You're gonna kill me one day." I rolled my eyes.

"If you'd stop acting like an idiot I wouldn't hurt you. And I barely hit you. You'll be fine."

He stood up and was massaging his stomach when Riku and Sora made their way through the crowd.

I playfully glared at them.

"Took you two long enough." They looked sheepish.

"We got distracted, but we're here now. Let's go watch the movie!"

Sora was always so enthusiastic. He made me actually _want_ to see the movie.

Axel was walking awkwardly. I guess I hit him a little harder than necessary. Sora noticed.

"What's wrong Axel?" He threw the brunette a pitiful face.

"Roxas was beating me up. He's so mean!" Riku looked doubtful.

"What'd you do this time?" I started laughing. Axel scowled. Sora frowned.

"You guys were fighting. That's not good." Riku threw him a look.

Soralooked upset.

"But Riku that's not wh—" Riku silenced him with a kiss and then whispered something in his hear.

The brunette blushed and nodded his head.

Axel and I traded a bemused expression.

_What are they going on about?_

"What are you guys talking about?" They looked uncomfortable.

"Oh look! We're next in line for snacks." Sora deflected the question.

_Something's going on._

I wanted to ask them about it but I doubted they would give me a straight answer.

I couldn't confer with Axel with them there either.

We bought our popcorn and drinks and made or way into the theater.

We stood there looking seat for a second. I saw four open ones and started heading in their direction when something stopped me.

Sora had tugged on my arm.

" Let's sit there."

I looked to where he was pointing.

There were two open seats and then another two right in front of it.

_So I'm gonna get stuck next to Axel cause there's no way Sora isn't gonna sit with Riku._

Axel seemed to be thinking the same thing, but he just shrugged and took his seat.

Riku and Sora took the seat behind him, so I had no choice but to plop down next to him.

I peeked behind me to find that Sora and Riku were whispering to each other.

"Their doing this on purpose aren't they?" Axel nodded his head.

"I think their gonna try to get us together."

_Why the hell am I getting nervous?_

"Well that's just ridiculous. Isn't it?" Axel threw some popcorn in his mouth.

"Just go along with it. Once their plan fails they should give up."

I nodded my head. I could do that. We were just hanging out after all.

The lights dimmed and the movie started.

I reached over to get some popcorn and brushed Axel's hand.

I flinched and snapped my hand away and laid it in my lap.

"Sorry."

Axel gave me a weird look, but didn't say anything.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

I forced myself to focus on the big screen.

The movie was really, really scary. I would for sure be having nightmares tonight. Assuming I actually fell asleep.

I could tell Axel was waiting for me to scream or cover my eyes. Anything that would mean I was scared.

He probably wanted to tease me about it later.

I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction.

If I didn't think too much about it, it didn't seem as scary.

Finally, the movie was over.

I stood up quickly. I wanted nothing more than to be out of the theatre.

When we were back in the lobby Sora grabbed my arm.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Roxas come with me."

Before I could protest he was dragging me towards the bathroom.

"Sora wait a second. Why couldn't Riku go with you?"

Once we were inside the restroom Sora let go of me.

"Because I wanted to talk to you. Were you scared? Did Axel hold your hand to make you feel better?"

_So that's what he wanted… Damn he's persistent._

"No I wasn't scared and why the hell would I hold that bastard's hand?"

Sora looked disappointed. He started walking towards the door.

"I thought you had to go to the bathroom?" He shook his head.

"That was just an excuse."

I was bewildered, confused, and a little irritated.

_Why is he worrying about this so much?_

Sora ran up to Riku and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Hey Riku can we get ice cream? That sounds good doesn't it Roxas?"

I shook my head at his enthusiasm but I had to admit it actually did sound good.

"Yea. It sounds real good. Let's go."

Though it started out weird, I was having a good time with them. I wasn't ready to go home yet.

We walked a few blocks to an ice cream place.

We walked inside and took our seats.

Riku looked at me and pointed at Axel.

"Roxas can you take our order? Axel you go with him."

* * *

><p>I glared at Riku.<p>

_The bastards doing this on purpose. It's getting really irritating._

Roxas didn't seem fazed.

"Sure. What do you want?"

Sora looked like a puppy wagging its tail.

"Vanilla with sprinkles!" Riku grinned at Sora.

"Mint chocolate chip." Sora grimaced.

"How can you eat that stuff Riku? It's so gross." Riku leaned down close to Sora's face.

"Don't worry. I'll be eating you later." Sora blushed.

I took that as my cue to leave.

"Comon Roxas." Roxas had a slight blush on his face. At my words he started walking with me.

_He's kinds cute when he blushes. WHAT! I did not just call him cute. He's far from cute._

We stood at the counter waiting to place our order.

I already knew I wanted cookie dough. I wasn't sure what Roxas wanted though.

"Hey Rox what you gonna get?" I looked down at him.

He was staring sadly at a flavor labeled sea-salt ice cream.

* * *

><p>When me and Axel went to place our order I already knew I was gonna get strawberry.<p>

I looked at the option of flavors anyways and froze.

_They have it. I can't believe they have sea-salt ice cream…_

"Roxas? Is that the flavor you want?"

I snapped my head up and stared at him.

"NO!" I'm not sure what my face looked like but Axel looked at me incredulously.

"Sorry buddy. I was just asking. What do you want then?"

I felt bad for snapping at him.

"That's me and Mom's favorite flavor. Dad hated it, so every Friday after dinner we would go the store and buy a little container and split it. I've never seen it anywhere else. It took me by surprise."

His gaze softened.

"You should get some. I'm sure your mom would want you to."

I shook my head.

"I can't Axel. If I eat it I'll get sad and want to cut myself when I get home."

He laid a hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed it.

"I'll make sure you don't. You don't have to get it but if you want it you should."

He took his and the other two's order and went to sit down, leaving me to make a decision.

_How does he do that? With a few simple words he wipes away all my doubts and fears._

The waitress waited for me to order.

"One scoop of sea-salt ice cream please."

_It'll be okay. Axel will make sure of it._

I walked back over to our table and sat down.

I went to take a bite and I hesitated. I looked at Axel. He gave me a nod of encouragement.

I put the spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and savored it.

Its flavor made every memory I had of eating it with Mom flood into my mind.

It was bitter sweet.

_I miss you so much Mom!_

I wanted to cry but I held it in. I wanted release but I would control it.

_If it becomes too much I can always call Axel. Hell, he probably won't leave me tonight till he's sure I'm okay._

I think I looked upset.

"Roxas? Is something wrong with your ice cream?"

I looked into Sora's worried face.

I shook my head.

"It's fine Sora. Everything's fine." I smiled at him and he seemed reassured.

When we finished, we threw our trash away and headed outside.

We stood there for a few minutes saying bye to each other when something caught my attention.

Across the street I saw a familiar mane of curly blonde hair. The same color as mine.

* * *

><p>"Mom!"<p>

I looked over and Roxas had a dazed expression on his face.

_What did he say?_

"Roxas?"

He ignored me and started running. He was heading for the street.

The intersection was full of moving cars. He would be hit. I panicked.

"Roxas! Stop!"

I don't think he could hear me.

"Mom!"

I ran for him. Sora and Riku didn't realize what was happening.

"Axel where are you going?"

Just as Roxas was about to step into the street, I grabbed him from behind.

"Let go of me Axel! She's across the street! Mom! I'm here! Mom!"

Passersby were stopping to stare at us. I didn't blame them. Roxas sounded crazed.

"Roxas you have to calm down! Your mom's… she's dead Roxas."

It sounded harsh but I had to make him understand.

"No! Axel you don't understand! She's there! Across the street!"

We were both struggling and we ended up on the sidewalk.

I didn't lose my hold on him.

"Roxas if you run out into the street you'll be hit! You could be killed! Calm down!"

He was crying and screaming at this point. I was terrified by his behavior.

"I don't care! Let me die! I have to go to her! I have to see her! I don't care if I die!"

I froze at his words and he took his chance.

He elbowed me in the chest and wrenched free of my grasp.

* * *

><p>I stood up and frantically searched for the head of blonde hair I had seen.<p>

I started to run into the street again when Axel pulled on my hand.

"Axel! Let go of me! She needs me!"

I knew I sounded crazy, but I had seen her.

Axel glared at me.

"I'm not going to let you leave me Roxas!"

I turned away from him.

The blonde head turned around and I saw her face.

_It's not her… Mom's dead. She's always going to be dead._

Axel's words sunk in. I hung my head in shame and I let my tears cascade down my cheeks.

I looked up and took in my surroundings.

Strangers were staring at me like I was a lunatic.

Riku and Sora looked shocked and scared. Sora had tears in his eyes.

Axel was still gripping my hand. I remembered his hands feeling warm and gentle before.

Now, his hand felt like stone. Hard and lifeless.

Dead. Like Mom.

I tore my hand out of his grasp and turned my back on him.

I started running. I had to get away. Far away.

My tears flew into the air behind me.

* * *

><p><strong>I just dished this one out in a few hours. I couldn't wait to do the ending part.<strong>

**I almost cried writing it.**

**Poor Roxas.**

**What happens next?**

**You'll find out soon enough.**

**Reviews please :O)**


	9. Confessions and Revelation

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its character do not belong to me.**

**Neither does Breathe Me by Sia.**

* * *

><p> I ran into my house and slammed the door shut. My chest hurt. I could hardly breathe.<p>

"Roxas?" I could hear my dad walking out of the kitchen. I heard him stop when he saw me.

Clutching my knees and choking out sobs.

He rushed over to me.

"Roxas? What happened?" He sounded panicky.

My mouth moved. No sound came out. I tried again.

I spoke. I'm not sure what I said.

I was deafened. Numb, but feeling so much pain.

"Roxas, everything's going to be okay. What happened?"

I guess I wasn't making much sense.

"Ax… Axel… fight… wi… with A-Axel."

It was close enough to the truth. And it would explain my next request.

"If… no when… he comes to the door… please don't let him in."

I could barely see Dad through my tears. He was just a blurry figure.

His voice sounded shaky. This was how I acted after Mom died.

"Roxas, I'm sure you'll work things out if you just talk to him…"

I was irritated that he didn't wanna listen.

"Dad please! I don't wanna see him!"

I didn't wait for an answer; I ran to my room and locked the door behind me.

I collapsed against my door and slid to the floor.

My tears wouldn't stop.

I heard a loud knocking coming from the front of the house. I held my breath.

I heard my Dad answer the door. I heard their voices.

_If I hear his voice I'll break. _

I plugged my Ipod into my computer and blasted the speakers. _Breathe Me_ came on.

_**Help**_

_**I have done it again.**_

_**I have been here many times before.**_

_**Hurt myself again today.**_

_**And**_

_**The worst part is there is no one else to blame.**_

_**Be my friend.**_

_**Hold me, wrap me up.**_

_**Unfold me.**_

_**I am small.**_

_**I'm needy.**_

_**Warm me up.**_

_**And breathe me.**_

_**Ouch**_

_**I have lost myself again.**_

_**Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.**_

_**Yea I think that I might break.**_

_**I've lost myself again and feel unsafe.**_

_**Be my friend.**_

_**Hold me, wrap me up.**_

_**Unfold me.**_

_**I am small.**_

_**I'm needy.**_

_**Warm me up.**_

_**And breathe me.**_

_**Be my friend.**_

_**Hold me, wrap me up.**_

_**Unfold me.**_

_**I am small.**_

_**I'm needy.**_

_**Warm me up.**_

_**And breathe me.**_

When the instrumental part kicked in I ran into my bathroom and reached for my razor.

Just as I was about to cut myself, I stopped.

_Axel would be disappointed…_

I shook my head.

_I don't give a shit what Axel thinks!_

I went to do it, but I hesitated.

_Yes you do…_

I dropped my razor and it clattered to the floor. I fell to my hand and knees.

I was crying so hard I thought I would start to hyperventilate.

I heard a knock at my door.

"Roxas? Axel just left. I told him to give you some time."

I didn't move. I didn't say anything.

_Mom. Axel. Mom. Axel. Mom. Axel._

Thinking of either caused me so much pain.

Mom was gone. I needed her. Axel made me feel. I didn't wanna feel.

I wanted to be numb.

I ran into my room, fell onto my bad and started screaming into my pillow.

Either Dad couldn't hear me or he didn't think I would answer.

If that was the case he was right. I didn't wanna be bothered. By anyone.

My phone started ringing. I looked at it. Axel was calling. I pressed decline.

My phone vibrated. I turned it off.

I lay there listening to music till I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>I was frozen in shock, sitting on the ground watching Roxas' retreating figure.<p>

I was scared as hell when he almost stepped into the busy traffic.

I thought he was just being desperate since he thought he saw his mom.

'_I don't care! Let me die! I have to go to her! I have to see her! I don't care if I die!'_

His words made me stop breathing. I grabbed for his arm.

'_I'm not going to let you leave me Roxas!'_

I'm not sure why I worded it that way. I meant to say I wasn't gonna let him die.

Instead I told him not to leave me.

_What was I thinking?_

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I looked over. It was Sora.

He was teary eyed and a little shaky. He was holding Riku's hand tightly.

"A-aren't y-you gonna go a-after him A-axel?"

Something pulled at my memory.

_Roxas is gonna cut himself. I have to stop him. _

I got up and started running to Roxas' house.

When I got there I pounded on the door. His dad answered, looking awkward.

"Can I come in? I need to talk to Roxas."

His dad looked uncomfortable.

"He's not here Axel. He hasn't come home yet."

_Where else would he go?_

Music started blaring from Roxas' room.

"I thought you said he wasn't here?"

"Look Axel he told me not to let you in. I don't know what you two fought about, but you'll work it out. Just give him some time."

_What? _

I never considered Roxas not wanting to see me.

_Why is he pushing me away?_

I couldn't explain how urgent it was I talk to Roxas without revealing his secret.

_What if he goes too far and kills himself? _

I cringed at the thought of Roxas dying.

_I don't wanna lose him._

"I think you should go Axel."

I numbly shook my head. His dad shut the door in my face.

I started walking home.

I tried calling Roxas. It rang and then went to voicemail.

I texted him. He never replied. He probably didn't even read it.

_Why is he avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?_

_Of course I didn't. I saved his fucking life!_

_What's going on?_

When I made it home, I went straight to my room.

I starting pacing, trying to think of why he was acting this way.

_He told his dad we had a fight._

I punched my wall. My skin around my knuckles turned red.

"Fuck!"

I punched it again. The skin broke.

"Fuck!" Again and again.

My knuckles were bleeding.

"Axel? What's wrong sweetheart?"

My mom was on the other side of the door. She sounded scared.

"Leave me alone!"

* * *

><p>I hadn't talked to Roxas since Saturday night.<p>

I didn't hear from him all Sunday.

I called and texted. I even went to his house when his dad wasn't home. I considered breaking the door down.

Nothing.

Monday morning he texted me.

**Stop it Axel. I wont b at skool 2day. B there 2morrow. Give me a few days. Ill come around.**

I was tempted to text back. Demand an explanation. I didn't.

I would give him what he wanted. I would give him some time.

When I got to school I looked for him. He had told the truth.

He wasn't there.

I rushed to school on Tuesday. I had to see him.

He was there, but kept his distance.

He avoided me in class. Didn't sit with us at lunch. Even changed seats in art.

I waited for him at the school gates; hoping we could walk home together and talk.

He never showed.

Wednesday was much the same, except at lunch he sat with us and sat at his usual desk in art.

He wouldn't speak to me though. Not even to Sora or Riku.

He was like an empty shell.

_How much longer do I have to endure this?_

It was Thursday morning.

I was in sitting in my classroom waiting for class to start.

Someone walked up and stood in front of my desk.

I looked up and saw pools of blue and blonde hair.

_Roxas._

He shifted his weight looking uncomfortable.

"Hey." His voice sounded hoarse like he wasn't used to using it.

He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't been sleeping.

My eyes flicked to his wrist, but since he had the usual wristband I couldn't tell if he had cut himself recently.

He had on jeans and a sweatshirt. He usually paid more attention to how he dressed.

This wasn't my Roxas. This was a different Roxas.

_Did I really just think of him as mine? I meant as my best friend. Right?_

"Hey Roxas. I mi—" I almost said I missed him.

_Of all the things I wanna say to him, I start with I missed you? Somethings wrong with me._

I changed what I was gonna say.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

He shook his head.

"Not now. Go home with me after school? We can talk then."

It sounded like he wasn't sure if I was gonna say yes or not.

"Yea buddy sure. We always walk home together."

His eyes widened, and then sadness entered them.

He looked doubtful.

_What is wrong with him?_

* * *

><p>After school I rushed outside. Roxas was already waiting for me.<p>

We started walking. I wasn't sure what I should say so I said nothing.

I waited for him to break the silence. He never did.

We were getting close to my block and we still hadn't said anything.

I stopped on my block. He looked at me.

"Come to my house?"

He was giving me a choice. He sounded uncertain.

I tried to make things go back to normal.

I smiled at him.

"Sure thing Roxie."

He didn't react to me calling him Roxie. He just nodded his head and started walking again.

I couldn't do anything but follow him.

I was seriously worried at this point. I had never seen Roxas act like this.

When we came to his house, instead of going inside he walked around. He was heading for the backyard.

He dropped his book bag on the ground. I did the same.

He walked to the center of the yard. I followed.

He lay down on the grass. I sat down and stared at him. He stared right back.

I didn't push him to start talking. I waited patiently.

I felt the need to talk to him fade away. Sitting with him seemed to be enough.

_Everything will be okay now. _

"I'm sorry about the last few days." He looked very sad.

"It's fine Roxas. Can you tell me what was going on?" He sighed.

"It was all becoming too much for me." I wasn't sure what he meant.

"What do you mean?" He gave a dry chuckle.

"You fucked everything up Axel." I felt my eyes cloud with pain.

His face softened into the smile I was used to.

"In a good way." I gave a blank stare.

"I'm confused." He gave me a sympathetic look.

"When Mom died, I went numb. I liked being numb. I wanted to keep it that way. Then you came along. You were helping me through it. Things were tolerable. Everything seemed… easier."

I listened to his words trying to find sense in them. I couldn't. He continued.

"I wasn't numb anymore. You made me feel Axel. I thought I was gonna break on Saturday night. If I had been numb still I don't think it would've been as bad, but because I could feel it tore me open."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. My eyes flicked to his wrist. I couldn't help myself.

I reached out and pulled his arm into my lap.

He tensed up but he didn't stop me. I took off the wristband.

The skin was littered with faint scars. All old. Nothing recent.

_He didn't do it?_

He seemed to know what I was thinking, instead of the other way around.

"I didn't… couldn't do it." His voice was quiet.

"Why?" I was relieved but confused.

He looked hesitant. He closed his eyes.

"I didn't wanna disappoint you." He sounded embarrassed.

He opened his eyes and glared at me, like he was daring me to make fun of him. I didn't.

Satisfied, I let go of his arm. He didn't move it from my lap.

We lapsed into silence. A comfortable one this time. Like we used to.

"Hey Axel, are we really best friends?" He sounded nervous.

"Of course we are. Why would you ask that?"

He looked hesitant again.

"Well cause you pretty much know everything about me, but I feel like I know nothing about you."

That caught me by surprise.

"What do you wanna know Roxas?"

He looked wary. He shut his eyes again.

"Who's Leon Axe?" He said it so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

My heart clenched in pain, like it always did when I thought of him.

He opened one eye to gauge my reaction. His face morphed into a frown.

"Can't you tell me Axel? Why won't you confide in me?"

I took a deep breath.

"It's not that I don't wanna confide in you Roxas, it just really hurts to talk about it."

He glared at me.

"Yea cause it's a walk through the park for me to talk about my problems to you."

I got angry. His gaze softened.

"I'm here Axel. Talk to me."

His words sunk in.

"He's my ex. He's a self centered, egotistical bastard that doesn't care about anybody. We dated for five months. I thought I loved him. The day after I slept with him, he broke up with me. It had been a bet. How long until he could get me to give it up to him. He printed out our e-mails and texts and threw them all over the school for everyone to see. The next day he was gone. He moved. I haven't seen him since."

I realized I had tears running down my cheeks. Roxas reached up to rub them away.

"I'm so sorry Axel." He said it without making me feel pitiful or pathetic.

"You deserve so much better than that Axel. You'll find someone who truly loves you."

I looked at Roxas with a shocked expression. I saw him in a whole new light.

I felt a warm feeling in my chest

Something dawned on me.

_Am I in love with Roxas?_

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, 3 in one day. I just couldn't stop writing. I had to get these last 3 chapters out.<strong>

**Hope you guys enjoyed it.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	10. Inner Conflict

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p> I tensed up when that thought hit me. I didn't how to process it.<p>

_In love with Roxas? There's no way…_

I looked at him some more. I barely knew him but his face was so familiar.

I couldn't sit in silence comfortably with anyone else.

I spend almost all my time with him, and when I'm not with him I think about him.

_That's cause I worry about him though._

_Well why do you worry so much?_

_He's my best friend._

_Do you worry about the others like this?_

_No…_

_So why do you worry so much?_

_I don't want him to hurt himself._

_Why?_

_I don't wanna lose him…_

I just sat there staring at him, mentally arguing with myself.

I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"Axel?"

His voice brought me out of musings.

"Yea Roxas?"

I tried to sound normal.

"You were staring at me with a goofy expression. What's up?"

_Shit! What if he could tell what I was thinking?_

_That's crazy! He can't read minds!_

I tried to act natural.

_What's natural about possibly falling for your best friend!_

I shook my head.

"Nothing Rox. Can we go inside? It's cold."

It wasn't just an excuse to end the conversation. It was early December and really cold.

I stood up and offered Roxas my hand so I could help him up.

It was an automatic reflex.

When his hand touched mine, lightening traveled up my arm.

I jerked my hand back.

_What the hell?_

_I've touched him a million times and that's never happened._

"What the fuck Axel?"

Me letting go had caused Roxas to fall back to the ground.

He stood up and glared at me.

"Uh… sorry about that."

He raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything.

He just walked into the house. I followed.

_You've gotta get a hold of yourself._

_Nothing's changed._

_You just might possibly have feelings for Roxas._

_No big deal._

_HOW THE HELL ISN'T THAT A BIG DEAL!_

I felt like my brain was gonna explode.

"Axel? Are we good now? I didn't like these past few days, but I just had to think things through."

He sounded worried. I wanted to reassure him.

I tried reverting things to how they had been.

"What? Did you miss me Roxie?"

I threw him my cocky smile.

_He'll get irritated and yell at me. Then he'll punch me. Like always._

He looked sheepish.

"So what if I did? You're my best friend. I like spending time with you."

_Why does that make me so happy?_

'_You're my best friend.'_

_That's right… I'm his friend. Nothing more. I said the same thing just a few days ago._

He looked at me.

"What's wrong Axel?"

I mentally shook myself.

"Nothing Roxas. I'm just not sure how to act after these past few days."

I ran my fingers through my hair and gave a nervous laugh.

It was the truth though.

He gave me a smile that made my heart stutter.

"Just act like you always did."

_I'm not sure if I can do that…_

My phone rang, making me jump.

I looked at the caller ID. It was Riku.

"Hello?"

"Hey Axel. Are you doing anything at the moment?"

He sounded troubled.

"Uh I'm at Roxas' house. Why?"

He chuckled.

"You finally back on speaking terms?"

That just made me think of my inner turmoil.

"Shut up Riku, now what do you want?"

He laughed.

_He's pissing me off!_

"Can you come over for a bit? I need your help with something."

I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer if I asked any questions.

"Fine."

I hung up the phone.

"Hey Roxas, I've gotta go for a bit. You want me to come back later?"

He shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care.

_Why's that hurt so much?_

_What do I want him to do? Beg me not to go?_

"Sure Axel. See you in a bit."

Frustrated, I left without saying bye.

* * *

><p>Talking with Axel relieved a lot of stress that had been building up. I knew it would.<p>

I just couldn't talk to him until today. Saturday night had taken too much of a toll on me.

I wasn't sure if I could continue going on the way I had.

The more time I spent with Axel, the faster the pain I harbored over Mom's death went away.

I was starting to forget why I was depressed. I wasn't sure if I was ready to forget.

I thought about ending my friendship with Axel. It caused me pain just considering it.

_Why is that?_

It was almost as if I… _needed_ him.

I did some serious thinking over those four days.

I knew I couldn't not have Axel in my life. He was my anchor that I was desperately clinging to.

I knew I was feeling something for him that was more than friendship.

I just wasn't sure what t was I was feeling. All I knew was that I needed him to be there for me.

Seeing him on Tuesday made me breathe a sigh of relief.

I was scared he'd be mad at me. He was just really concerned.

I couldn't talk to him yet. I couldn't talk to him till Thursday.

I wanted to explain everything to him. Well almost everything.

I was gonna leave out my conflicted feelings until I figured those out.

I also was gonna ask him about Leon. I couldn't not know anymore.

I expected him to get mad and go off on me. Him telling me what had happened and breaking down threw me off guard.

I hated seeing him cry. It was alright for me to cry, but Axel crying was unforgivable.

After that he started acting really weird. Well weirder than usual.

He looked nervous and confused.

He jumped away from me when he touched my hand, and when I spoke to him some emotion entered his eyes I couldn't name.

It made no sense to me.

_I wanna know what's wrong with him. _

I decided I'd ask him about when he got back.

I didn't want him to leave now that I had him back in my life, but I had no excuse for him to stay.

I couldn't just say I didn't want him to leave. He'd think I was stupid or something.

I looked at my bare wrist. The scars were barely noticeable after not cutting myself for as long as I had managed not to.

I could still feel where Axel's fingers had touched my arm. Like a warm echo left behind.

I clenched my fist as the feeling slowly faded away into nothing.

_I want that feeling back. The feeling I get when Axel touches me._

_Why do I crave it?_

I shook my head trying to rid myself of those thoughts.

_I'll take a shower. That'll clear my head._

* * *

><p>Riku was seriously pissing me off.<p>

"What do you mean you forgot why you needed me! You called me ten minutes ago?"

He shrugged his shoulders and continued reading his damn magazine.

"I don't need help with anything Axel. I don't know what I was gonna have you do."

_I'm gonna strangle him!_

He smirked at me.

"So how's Roxas?"

_Bastard! He called me over here on purpose!_

Thinking of Roxas made me blush. I covered my face with my hand.

"Fuck off Riku!"

He rolled his eyes went back to reading his magazine.

I didn't think before I spoke.

"Riku… I think I like Roxas."

I expected a surprised outburst. I was prepared for relentless questions.

I got neither. He just kept reading his magazine.

"Oh? So you finally realized it. Took you long enough."

_What?_

"What do you mean I finally realized it? I didn't start liking him till like an hour ago."

He looked at me with an annoying expression.

"You became aware of it an hour ago. You've liked him for a while. First day you saw him to be precise."

I froze.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He looked impatient.

"Are you really that clueless Axel?"

He didn't wait for me to answer.

"You get jealous when anyone touches him. You spend all your time with him. If he's not around you look for him. When you zone out I'm a hundred percent sure you're thinking of him. You flirt with him all the time and you can find any excuse to touch him."

I was dumbfounded.

"If it was so obvious then how come I didn't know till now?"

He had answer for everything.

"Because Axel, you are an idiot."

I silently agreed. Then a dose of fear ran through my veins.

"Does Roxas know?"

My voice went up an octave and I started coughing.

Riku was extremely amused.

"No Axel. He's just as clueless as you were. He probably will never know unless you tell him."

_I can't do that! How could I possibly tell him?_

"Don't you have somewhere to be Axel?"

I wasn't really paying attention.

"Huh?"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Isn't Roxas waiting for you? And if he isn't you still need to go. Sora should be here soon. So unless you wanna watch…"

I quickly made my exit.

_So did not need that image in my head. _

I started walking in the direction of Roxas' house.

_Roxas._

I started walking faster.

I had never really appreciated how everywhere in town was within walking distance until now.

I made it to his house in no time. I didn't bother knocking.

Roxas knew I was coming and his dad wasn't home so I just let myself in.

I made my down the hallway, eager to see him again.

I opened his bedroom door and froze.

Roxas was standing in the middle of his room with nothing on besides the towel around his waist.

"Hey Axel. I'll just step into the bat—"

I turned around hiding my blush of embarrassment.

"Why the hell don't you have any clothes on!"

He huffed like he was irritated.

"I just got out of the shower and it is my room. You could've knocked. I don't see what the big deal is."

_Of course he doesn't! He doesn't have a freakin' crush on me!_

Before I had turned around I had gotten a good look at his toned chest.

_He's so hot! How_ _could I have not noticed until now?_

"It doesn't matter… Just put some damn clothes on!"

I heard him chuckle. He probably thought I was being ridiculous but I heard clothes rustling so I figured he was doing as I asked.

"I'm decent Axel. You can turn around."

I peeked over my shoulder before fully turning around.

He had put on sweats and a tank top.

_Still looks hot, but at least he's not nearly naked._

He gave me a questioning look.

"Is everything alright Axel? You've been acting weird for a while now?"

_Shit! If I don't get a hold of myself he'll figure out I like him._

I threw my arm around his shoulders.

"Yea I'm good Roxie!"

He glared at me and pushed me away.

"My name is ROXAS!"

I felt hurt when he pushed me away, but I was glad that he was back to his old self.

I smiled at him.

"Fine. If it makes you happy I won't call you Roxie anymore."

I thought that would make him happy.

Instead he frowned and looked confused. He averted his eyes and started mumbling.

"You don't have to do that…"

I wasn't sure what to make of that.

He looked back at me, the frown had disappeared.

"So what do you wanna do until you have to leave?"

A million things I'd like to with Roxas passed through my thoughts but I knew that's not what he was asking.

I settled on something we usually did.

"Why don't we just watch some TV?"

We could just sit there in each other's presence. Talk wouldn't be necessary, but if we chose to it would be welcomed.

He rolled his eyes.

"You're so easily satisfied Axel."

He was talking about me being satisfied with watching TV.

He had no idea just being around him was what satisfied me.

* * *

><p><strong>I know it's not much. I needed a chapter to bridge the previous one and the next one<strong>. **This is what I came up with.**

**The next 2 or 3 chapters are gonna be full of jealousy! It's gonna be interesting and hopefull entertaining.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	11. New Arrival

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p>"Hey Axel? Are you doing anything Monday?"<p>

Me and Roxas were laying on his bedroom floor finishing up homework. Tomorrow was our last day of school before winter break.

I didn't have any plans Monday but I knew I would find a reason to spend it with Roxas.

I'd rarely left his side since I'd figured out my feelings for him two weeks ago. He wasn't supposed to know this though.

"No. Why?"

I probably sounded a little too eager, but it sounded like he was about to ask me to do something with him.

"Will you come with me to the bus station?"

At first I only heard the first part of his question.

_I'll go with you anywhere Roxas._

Then the rest of the question became clear.

_Bus station?_

"Why do you need to go to the bus station?"

He had a weird smile on his face.

"Remember how I told you about my friend Hayner? Well he's coming to visit for a few days over winter break. He's coming by bus and I want you to meet him."

I had totally forgotten about him telling me about his friend.

_Hayner? You want me to meet Hayner? Well I don't particularly wanna meet him…_

_But if you don't meet him, you won't see Roxas the whole time he's here…_

_You can meet him without going to the bus station._

"Umm I don't know Roxas. Shouldn't you greet him by yourself?"

It nearly broke my heart suggesting it.

Roxas' smile melted into a frown. My heart shattered.

"Fine I'll go with you!"

His smile was back.

_Damn my feelings for not allowing me to tell him no!_

"Thanks Axel!"

I grinned at him.

_Well as long as he's happy I guess it's alright._

"So how longs he stayin?"

I wanted to know how much time without Roxas I would have to endure.

"Three days, two nights."

I groaned silently.

If I wanted to spend any time with Roxas during that time, it would no doubt include this Hayner guy.

"So he was your best friend?"

I needed info.

Roxas nodded.

"Yepp. We grew up together."

I didn't like the tone his voice took when he was talking about Hayner.

It was the same loving tone he used when he talked about his mom.

"So you guys are close then?"

I think he picked up on my tone.

He teased me.

"You jealous Axel?"

_If only you knew how right you are._

"Stupid! What do I have to be jealous about?"

He laughed.

"You're right. That's ridiculous."

_Is it? Really?_

We lapsed into silence. The only thing you could here was our breathing and the scratching of our pencils.

"He was my first kiss."

I froze when he said that. I couldn't breathe.

_What do I say? How do I react?_

I clenched my fist around my pencil. It snapped.

The splintered wood cut into my hand.

"Fuck!"

A small trickle of blood traveled down my arm.

"Axel? Are you okay?"

It hurt like hell.

"No I'm not fuckin okay! My pencil cut my hand!"

I was probably overreacting but it really did hurt.

Roxas chuckled and got up. He walked into his bathroom and came out with a wet towel and bandages.

"My turn to take care of you."

He sat down next to me and pulled my hand into his lap.

I blushed.

"You don't have to do that Roxas."

I tried to pull my hand away but he wouldn't let me.

His hands were small, but firm.

"Just let me do this Axel."

He winked at me.

"I owe anyways."

_God if you aren't making this hard._

He had a small smile on his lips as he wiped the wound clean.

He let go all too soon.

As he pulled his hand away I yearned to pull it back. I didn't. I couldn't.

"There all better."

He smiled at me. He had no idea what I was going through.

I wanted to be mad at him. I wasn't.

I wanted to be able to leave here. I didn't.

He had a hold on me. One I would never sever.

If I could be sure of his feelings I would tell him of mine, but I had no idea how he felt.

_I will not jeopardize our friendship that way._

I didn't care if I always stayed his best friend. I would never leave his side.

"Thanks Roxas."

My tone hinted at more than bandaging my cut. He didn't notice.

"Anytime Axel. It's getting late. Shouldn't you be getting home?"

It was 11:30. The absolute latest his dad would let me stay.

I reluctantly stood up and gathered my things.

"Do you really not like your house that much?"

I didn't understand what he was getting at.

"Huh?"

He was sitting on the ground staring at me intently.

"Whenever you have to leave you look like your gonna cry."

_Shit! He's more perceptive than I thought._

I could've easily made up some excuse to play it off, but that wouldn't be normal behavior for me.

So I grabbed Roxas' hand and overplayed it.

"Why would I ever want to leave you Roxie! I'm so lonely without you!"

His eyes widened but then he glared at me.

He snatched his hand away punched me on the head.

"Idiot! Go home. I'm tired."

I stood up and rubbed my head.

"I've lost count of how many times you've bruised me Roxas."

He didn't look sorry.

"I've told you a million times, stop being an idiot and I'll stop hitting you."

I winked at him.

"But my idiocy is part of my charm Roxie."

He scoffed.

"What charm? It's annoying."

Okay, that hurt a little. It hurt a lot. I didn't wanna annoy him.

I couldn't apologize though. He'd know something was up.

I chuckled and made my way for his door.

"See you at school tomorrow."

I started walking down the hallway. A faint whisper stopped me.

"Bye Axel."

It sounded wistful.

_Don't read too much into it! Don't get your hopes up! We're just closer now. That's all._

* * *

><p>The weekend passed by in a blur. My last days alone with Roxas, besides the few times we hung out with Riku and Sora.<p>

I didn't mind that though. It was almost like we were on a double date.

I was walking with Roxas to the bus station. I deliberately set a slow pace. Trying to savor my time with him.

I knew once Hayner arrived things would be different for a few days. I didn't want it to be.

"You okay Axel?"

Roxas snapped me back to reality.

"Hmm? Yea, just a little tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

He frowned.

"Why not?"

_Too busy worrying about your friend arriving._

"Uh my parents were fighting."

I wasn't really a lie. They did fight yesterday. They fought over who loved each other more.

My parents were so in love it was sickening.

Roxas never went to my house so he didn't know that.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Is everything okay?"

His obvious concern was like a knife in my heart.

The guilt almost made me confess everything. I controlled myself.

"Yea Rox. Everything's fine. They made up this morning."

This wasn't a lie. When I entered the kitchen this morning they were feeding each other strawberries for breakfast.

The sight almost made me gag.

We lapsed into silence the rest of the way to the bus station.

We were sitting on a bench waiting for Hayner's bus to arrive when I stood up.

"I'm thirsty. Want anything."

He nodded his head.

"You know what I like Axel."

I winked and set off for a vending machine.

I got two cans of mountain dew.

I was making my way through the crowd when the bus we were waiting for announced its arrival.

I saw Roxas stand up, looking impatient.

He looked over at me and flashed a smile my way. I smiled back at him.

The bus pulled into the terminal. The doors open.

A blur cam flying off the bus and threw themselves at Roxas.

Said blur threw his arms around Roxas' neck and… kissed him?

Roxas froze. I froze. Time stopped.

_I'm gonna kill him! _

_No! Killing Roxas' best friend would be bad._

_No! Killing anyone in general is bad!_

_I don't care! I'm gonna kill him!_

* * *

><p><strong>Oooh Axel's jealous!<strong>

**Sorry it's so short. I wanted to leave you guys wanting more.**

**Things are about to get really interesting.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	12. Feelings

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p><em>No! Not in front of Axel!<em>

That was my only thought when Hayner kissed me.

I should've been worried that we were in a crowded bus station.

I should've been worried about all the strangers that would see.

I wasn't.

The strangers could look all they wanted. I didn't care.

The only thing I was worried about was Axel seeing it. I didn't want him to misunderstand.

_He's going to think there's something going on between me and Hayner!_

I didn't care about Hayner that way. He was just my best friend.

_Just like Axel's my best friend… So why is it okay for me to like Axel?_

That's right. I like Axel. Talking on the phone with Sora a few days ago made me realize it.

'_Hey Roxas do you like anybody?'_

I automatically started to say no, then Axel's face popped into my head.

I shook my head.

_There's no way I like Axel. He's my best friend. That's just weird._

I went so say no again, the word died in my throat.

'_Roxas?'_

All I could think about was Axel.

How he was always there for me, and how I could find any reason to spend time with him.

How I looked forward to every smile he threw my way. His eyes that seemed to always look right through me.

How I couldn't help but laugh when he did. How warm I felt when he would casually touch me.

How he had slowly made my life better in the worst time ever.

How he made me feel when I was around him.

'_Axel…'_

The whisper of his name escaped my lips. I hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Sora squeeled with delight.

'_I knew it!_'

I was still processing this development. It was hard to suddenly see Axel in that way, but I did.

Hayner kissing me in front of Axel was the worst thing that could've happened.

I wasn't sure how Axel felt about me; just a few weeks ago he said he only saw me as his best friend.

Hayner kissing me wasn't going to help anything.

I gently pushed Hayner away from me and rubbed my lips with the sleeve of my jacket.

I was too scared to look at Axel.

I didn't want him to be angry. Or worse. Not care at all.

_Why did I make him come with me?_

Hayner hugged me again.

"Roxas I missed you!"

* * *

><p>A murderous intent erupted inside of me when Roxas was kissed by his 'best friend.'<p>

I quickly reined it in though.

When Roxas pushed him away and wiped his lips, my heart purred.

_At least Roxas doesn't feel that way about him. Their best friends after all._

_Wait! I'm Roxas' best friend too! Is there really no hope then…_

The murderous intent was back when the kid hugged Roxas.

_Let go of him! Stop touching him! He's mine!_

_No. Roxas is not yours Axel. No matter how much you want him to be._

Roxas looked uncomfortable.

"Heh, I missed you too Hayner."

He ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me, and it seemed like he was trying to tell me something.

I could usually tell everything Roxas was thinking just by looking at him. Not now. His face was a blank canvas.

I tried not to glare at Hayner when he and Roxas walked my way.

_Keep cool. Just keep cool. Ripping his head off would be very bad. As fun as it sounds don't do it._

"Hayner, this is Axel. He's my best friend."

I wasn't sure what I had expected of Hayner, but his appearance threw me.

He was a little taller than Roxas and had light blonde hair. He looked mature for his age.

"No! I'm your best friend Roxas! You belong to me!"

He threw a pitiful look at Roxas and grasped his arm.

_Scratch that! He's a spoiled brat that has a death wish!_

Roxas gave a nervous chuckle and withdrew his arm.

"What? Did you expect me not to make new friends?"

Hayer didn't relent.

"Yes! I feel like I'm losing you!"

_I'm so tempted to strangle him!_

Roxas glared at the boy.

"Hayner quit it! What's wrong with you?"

Hayner looked shocked and frowned.

"I'm sorry. It's very nice to meet you Axel."

I nodded at him.

_Best to play polite._

"Pleasures all mine Hayner."

Roxas smiled.

"Let's go get something to eat."

* * *

><p>The three of us were sitting in a booth of a diner that was close to the bus station.<p>

Roxas and Hayner sat next to each other on one side while I was on the other side.

I wasn't happy about the seating arrangement. I kept quiet about it.

I would've thought Hayner a cool guy if it weren't for him kissing my object of affection.

He was a lot like Roxas, so against my better judgment I felt comfortable around him.

But then every once in a while he would say or do something to Roxas that made my blood boil.

Hayner acted like a little child instead of a 15 year old. Kinda like Sora.

I would've considered it cute if I didn't hate his guts.

Roxas stood up.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

As soon as Roxas was out of sight, Hayner's goofy smile faded into a scowl aimed in my direction.

"I hate you."

_What the hell? _

"Uh… what?"

He glared at me.

"You heard me. I hate you."

I was confused.

"Okay? Why's that?"

He slouched into the booth and rolled his eyes.

"Roxas is mine. You can't have him. I know you like him. Give up already. You can't win against me."

_Cocky bastard!_

I tried to play it off.

"I think you're confused. I don't like Roxas like that. We're just friends."

He didn't believe me for a second.

"Do you think I'm stupid? Every time you look at him you get this sappy expression on your face. If he wasn't an airhead he'd know already."

_He is so ticking me off!_

Just as I was about to retaliate, Roxas walked around the corner heading for our booth.

Hayner went back to being a spoiled child.

"Roxas! What took so long? I missed you!"

He wrapped Roxas in a hug and smirked at me.

_BastardBastardBastardBastard!_

Roxas chuckled nervously. He did that whenever Hayner showed him affection.

_Why? Does he not like it?_

"I was only gone for a few minutes Hayner."

It seemed Hayner's pouting didn't really affect Roxas. Something I was thankful for.

"Can we go back to your house now Roxas? I wanna catch up."

Roxas nodded his head.

"Sure. We can talk and play Xbox. Sound good Axel?"

The fact that Roxas was asking made me very happy, but I knew what Hayner was gonna do before he did it.

He pouted.

"Just me and you Roxas. Axel should go home. I haven't seen you in so long. I want you all to myself."

I flinched mentally.

_What's Roxas gonna say? Is he gonna make me go home?_

Roxas had a torn expression on his face.

I hated it. As much as I didn't wanna leave, I didn't wanna make things complicated for him either.

I threw him a smile.

"It's okay Roxie! I should probably be getting home anyways."

I stood up and started to walk away, when I felt a tug on my jacket.

I turned around. Roxas was holding onto my jacket with a pained expression on his face.

It broke my heart seeing him like that.

I wanted to wrap him in my arms and tell him everything was gonna be okay.

_I can't do that though!_

"Roxas?"

As soon as I said his name, his face went back to normal and he let go.

"Haha it's nothing. I'll catch ya later Axel."

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but not with Hayner there.

I did the only thing I could do. I left.

* * *

><p>I wanted to spend time with Hayer, but I also didn't want Axel to leave.<p>

When he stood up to leave I panicked.

_Don't go!_

I didn't realize I had grabbed his jacket until it was already too late.

I could feel the expression on my face.

_Crap! He always knows what I'm thinking. He'll know I like him._

I quickly pulled my face back into a normal expression.

I hated watching him leave, but I had no reason for him to stay.

"Roxas?"

I had almost forgotten about Hayner.

"Sorry bud, you ready to go?"

He nodded his head.

We paid the check and set for my house.

The whole walk home Hayner held my hand.

It bothered me, but not as much as it would have if Axel was still with us.

I was used to it cause Hayner used to always hold my hand.

I tried not to think of how different his hand was from Axel's.

I was well aware of Hayner's feelings for me. I had made it clear years ago that I didn't and would never feel the same.

We still fooled around with each other though. It was probably cruel on my part, but he never complained about it.

It had slipped my mind when he asked to come visit.

All I was thinking of was seeing my friend that I missed.

Whenever I tried to pull my hand away, he held it tighter.

I didn't wanna push it and get into a fight. He had just gotten here.

I could handle his advances for the next two days.

After that he would be gone and I would have nothing to worry about.

We went straight to my room and started playing Xbox when we arrived at my house.

It was what we always did when we would hang out.

We would make out sometimes too, but I was done with that.

I knew me and Axel weren't a thing, but it would feel like I was cheating on him.

I was so lost in thought that I almost didn't notice Hayner pause the game.

I looked over to ask him what was wrong when I was suddenly silenced.

Hayner had captured my lips with his own and pushed me to floor.

I tensed up at the sudden invasion of space.

I didn't respond hoping he would stop.

Instead he pushed his knee into my crotch making me gasp in surprise.

He took his chance and slid his tongue into my mouth, and started swirling it around.

I went still waiting for him stop.

Finally he came up for air.

"I missed you so much Roxas…"

I wriggled out from underneath him and hit him on the head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He smirked at me.

"I just wanted to kiss you Roxie. You know you like it."

I glared at him.

"You can't just do that Hayner, and don't ever call me Roxie."

He frowned.

"Why not? It's never bothered you before, and you let Axel call you Roxie."

I sighed.

"That was then. This is now. Things have changed, and Axel's different…"

* * *

><p>I didn't like the way Roxas was acting. He had never pushed me away before.<p>

He had never reprimanded me either. When he scolded me at the bus station it totally shocked.

"That was then. This is now. Things have changed, and Axel's different…"

When he said that a blush rose to his cheeks.

I glared at him.

"Is this because of that red head?"

He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"His names Axel, Hayner."

Just hearing his name made my skin crawl.

"Do you like him?"

His blush became even more pronounced.

He looked everywhere but at me.

"U-uh… it's not… you see… I… umm… he's…"

The more he mumbled the more his blush deepened.

He hung his head.

"Yes…"

_I will not let this happen._

"You know he doesn't like you back right?"

His eyes widened and then his face fell into a pitiful expression.

I felt guilty.

_It has to be done if I want him to be mine._

"It doesn't matter. I still like him Hayner. There's nothing I can do about it."

_Now's my chance._

I sidled up to him and placed my hand on his cheek.

He turned his head away from me.

"I can make you forget about him Roxas. I can take his place."

Anger pooled in his eyes.

He jerked away from me and started yelling.

"That's sick Hayner! I don't want a replacement! I want him and no one else!"

I was shocked.

I had never seen Roxas so angry.

Not at me. Not at anybody.

I instantly regretted my words.

"I'm sorry Roxas… I just really like you."

He was still angry but his gaze softened a little bit.

He reached out and ruffled my hair.

"You're my best friend Hayner. I'll forgive you eventually."

He grinned at me.

_Stop being so nice to me! It's only making it worse!_

His kindness was what made me fall in love with him.

He had rejected me, but had stayed friends with me.

Every time he was kind to me after that broke my heart little by little, but I still kept coming back for more.

_I love you Roxas._

* * *

><p><strong>Yea Hayner's a two faced brat, but I kinda felt bad for him so I added that last bit.<strong>

**He's gonna be in one, maybe two more chapters depending on how i write it.**

**I meant to ask this on the chapters containing songs but I forgot so I'm gonna do it now.**

**How did you guys feel about that? Did they flow well or was it supid?**

**I'm thinking about doing it again but I wasn't sure how you guys felt about it.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	13. Stressin Out and Late Night Texts

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p> I didn't feel comfortable around Hayner the rest of the day.<p>

I was glad that he was here, but I also couldn't wait for him to go back home.

We played Xbox in silence until ten, and then we went to bed.

Hayner's familiar snores filled the room soon after.

It wasn't that easy for me.

'_You know he doesn't like you back right?'_

Hayner said that with so much conviction that it couldn't be anything but true.

I had a feeling that my feelings were one sided, but it was different knowing for sure.

It hurt. The urge to cut myself had entered my body. I hadn't felt the need to do that in weeks.

_Mom? What should I do?_

If she were here she'd tell me to always strive towards what I want.

It was different hearing her say them from imagining her saying them.

Talking to Axel would make me feel better, but I couldn't tell him what was wrong.

_Just talking to him in general will help though._

_I hope he's still awake._

I grabbed my phone and quickly typed out a text.

**Hey Axel. U mad?**

It took him a while to reply so I figured he was asleep until my phone finally vibrated.

**Y would I b mad Roxie?**

I had always hated the nick name Roxie. That is until Axel started calling me it.

Sure I acted like I hated it, but whenever he said it I smiled inside.

**Cause I sorta ditched u 2day. I felt bad.**

I pulled at a loose thread on my blanket until he replied.

**Oh that. Yes, Im terribly mad and will never 4give u! :[**

I knew he was joking but it still made me sad.

**I sorry! Ill make it up 2 u. Promise. ;)**

I knew he hadn't said anything to make me feel better but somehow I did.

**Lol I was kidding Rox. Im not mad. Everythings kool. Chill. **

I breathed a sigh of relief.

**I still wanna make it up 2 u.**

I knew what he was gonna ask next so I quickly tried to think of something I could do.

**How u gonna do that Roxie?**

I hadn't been able to think of anything.

**Im not sure…**

It took him a minute to reply.

**Lol u don't have to do anything Roxie.**

I frowned.

_But I want to._

**If u say so. Night Axel.**

Now that I wasn't freaking out, I felt like I could actually sleep.

**Night Roxie.**

I rolled over, breathed a sigh of content and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Ever since I had left the diner I had been stressing out.<p>

_What are they doing?_

_Why did Roxas make that face?_

_Is Hayner gonna tell him I like him?_

All those thoughts were running through my head relentlessly.

I was tempted to call or text Roxas but I wasn't sure what to say so I didn't.

I desperately needed a distraction so I called Riku in the hopes of hanging out for a bit, but he was on a date with Sora.

The only other person I used to hang out with was Larxene but there wasn't a chance in hell I was gonna call her.

I gave up and made my way home.

My dad was at work, but Mom was home.

"Hi Axel. Is everything alright."

She was way too perceptive.

I shrugged.

"I don't know Mom."

She gave me a sympathetic look and dragged me into the dining room.

She made me sit down and then she sat down across from me.

"I thought you were spending today with Roxas?"

I grimaced. I regretted talking about Roxas with her now.

"I was, but his friends in town visiting. I don't wanna bug them."

I laid my chin down on the table.

"His friend's visiting? Well that's good isn't it?"

She knew it wasn't based on my behavior. Me and my mom were scary close.

Always have been.

"When his friend got off the bus he kissed Roxas…"

Mom made a face in understanding.

"Ah. So your jealous and stressing out?"

I nodded.

"You really like him don't you hunny?"

I nodded again.

"Does he like you?"

I glared at her.

"If I knew that I wouldn't be bothered by the situation."

She glared right back.

"Don't take that tone with me. You know full well that if you brought him over here I could figure it out easily, but you refuse."

It was true. I knew it was true.

_So why don't I invite him over?_

"What if he doesn't Mom? Where will that leave me?"

_That's what I'm scared of…_

She took my hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sure things will work out sweetheart."

She looked so beautiful when she smiled.

"Thanks Mom."

_That's another reason I'm scared to have him over._

_I'm not sure how he'd react to my mom. She's so caring._

_It could make things better or worse for him after losing his mom._

"You're welcome hunny. I wanna meet him. I won't tell you what I find out if you don't want me to."

I stood up.

"We'll see Mom. I'm going to my room for the night."

She hugged me.

"Good night sweetheart."

I totally understood what Roxas was going through. If I lost my mom I don't know what I'd do.

"Night Mom."

I went upstairs to my room and collapsed onto my bed.

I got up and started pacing. I tried not to look at the dent in my wall.

I sat down on my bed. I started pacing again.

I couldn't sit still, but when I started moving I wanted to sit down.

_I'm gonna take a shower then. That'll distract me a little bit._

I left my room and headed for the bathroom.

I deliberately took my time so that by the time I was done I could attempt to go to bed.

The shower was meant to be a distraction but I still couldn't get the image of Hayner kissing Roxas out of my head.

_Dammit! If only I knew how Roxas felt. About him, me. Everything._

_What are they doing now?_

_If only I'd stayed._

I started rubbing the soap into my hair harder than necessary.

_FuckFuckFuckFuck!_

My head felt like it was gonna explode.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist.

I brushed my teeth and then looked in the mirror.

I examined my hair.

_Maybe I'll cut it shoulder length. It's gotten a little too long._

_There that's a normal thought. No more stressing out._

_Yea I think I'll do that. I'll go get it cut next week._

I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to my bedroom.

I traded my towel for a pair of shorts and collapsed onto my bed.

My phone vibrated. I had missed a message.

_From Roxas?_

He wanted to know if I was mad. I teased him but then reassured him everything was fine.

_He want's to make it up to me?_

I laughed when Roxas said he didn't know how he was going to do it.

_He never has a plan._

Texting Roxas made all my stress disappear.

_I just have to deal with two more days of Hayner being here. Then everything will go back to normal._

That thought allowed me to drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open when my phone started ringing.<p>

I blinked a few times and looked at my clock.

_8:30! Who the fucks calling me so damn early!_

Needless to say I am not a morning person.

I snatched my phone ready to go off on whoever was calling, when I noticed the caller ID.

_Roxas?_

"Hey Roxie! What's up?"

All of a sudden it being early didn't matter to me.

"Keep it in your pants fire head. You sound pathetic."

I balked.

_Why is that bastard calling me with Roxas' phone?_

"What do you want Hayner?"

_This better be good._

"I asked Roxas if he'd take me to the movies later. He said yea but I had to invite you."

_Time with Roxas? I'm so in._

"Sure I'll come."

He scoffed.

"Don't you have something better to do with your life fire head?"

_Don't react! That's what he wants you to do._

I heard a door open on Hayner's end.

"Hayner, I told you his names Axel. Give me the phone."

I heard the phone changing hands.

"Axel?"

Just hearing his voice put me in a better mood.

"Hey buddy. So do you really want me to go to the movies with you?"

He sounded nervous when he answered.

"Y-yeah. I wanna spend time with both of my best friends. You'll come won't you?"

_Like I could say no._

"You bet! So what we gonna see?"

I didn't care what we saw, I was gonna go no matter what. As long as I got to spend time with Roxas.

"I don't know. Some stupid comedy Hayner wants to see."

I laughed at how reluctant he sounded.

"So you want me to sit through a crappy movie with you. Doesn't exactly sound like fun Roxie."

I was just teasing him. I wasn't prepared for his reaction.

"You'll still come right!"

He almost sounded desperate.

"I said I would didn't I? What's wrong?"

He let out a sigh.

"Nothing. I just don't want to sit through the torture alone."

He let out a chuckle.

He sounded like he was back to normal.

"Alright Roxas. When are we going?"

_Please be soon, please be soon._

"Meet us in front of the theatre in two hours."

_Soon enough I guess…_

"Alright I'll be there."

* * *

><p>I got off the phone and turned to glare at the blonde lounging on my bed.<p>

"Hayner! What's it gonna take for you to not be a complete jerk to him?"

He picked up a magazine from my floor and started flipping through it.

"Nothing. I don't like him and that's that."

I tried to stay calm.

"But I like him Hayner. Could you be nice? For me?"

He glared at me.

"That's exactly why I don't like him. Because you like him. I love you Roxas. I'm not gonna sit by and watch you pursue a relationship that's never gonna happen."

My face fell at his words.

"It could possibly happen…"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"So you're gonna tell him how you feel then?"

I hesitated.

"Exactly. You don't want to say anything until your sure he feels the same way about you. I'll save you the time. He doesn't."

He words cut deep.

"How are you so sure Hayner?"

He gave me a sympathetic look.

"I can just tell Roxas. I'm sorry but he only sees as a friend. I know how much that hurts."

He voice went sharp when he said that last part, making me feel guilty.

"I'm sorry Hayner—"

I wanted to make him understand but he cut me off.

"Come on. Let's play Xbox till it's time to leave."

I smiled at him.

"Sure thing."

* * *

><p><strong>Hayner's such a dick! Only cause my mind is so twisted though.<strong>

**The next chapter will be his last. Mainly cause I want to move to the other things I have planned for Axel and Roxas.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	14. Secrets

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p>I was clinging to Roxas' arm outside of the movie theatre.<p>

Unfortunately we were waiting for Axel.

_Why'd that fire head have to tag along?_

I looked up at Roxas.

"Roxas, maybe he's not coming. Let's just go in."

He shook his head and his face set into a determined expression.

"He'll be here. Axel doesn't lie to me. We still have 2o minutes till the movie anyways."

I pouted.

_What's so great about him?_

"Roxas he's not that—"

My words died in my throat when Roxas' face split into a wide smile.

I followed where is eyes were looking.

_Damn if he didn't show up._

Roxas put his hand in the air.

"Axel!"

Axel didn't need to be told where we were. His eyes had locked on Roxas as soon he emerged from the crowd.

When Roxas called his name he returned his blinding smile.

_How can these two not be aware that_ _they like each other? They're so obvious about it._

_Oh well. As long as neither takes the initiative I still have a chance._

Axel jogged the last few feet to get to us.

He winked at Roxas.

"Hey Roxie."

A faint tinge of pink ghosted Roxas' cheeks.

I frowned.

_I've never made him do that…_

I noticed Axel zero in on where I was holding Roxas' arm.

I smirked at him and held tighter.

I could tell he was dying to hurt me but he would never do it in front of Roxas.

* * *

><p>Hayner suddenly holding on tighter to my arm reminded me how we looked standing together.<p>

_Shit! I don't want Axel to see this._

I pulled my arm out of Hayner's grasp and turned towards the movie theatre.

"Let's go in and buy our tickets. It's cold out here."

Axel started to follow me and tugged on my jacket.

"Of course your cold idiot! You should be wearing a coat!"

His disapproving tone amused me and made me feel cared about.

"What? You worried about me Axel?"

He averted his eyes.

_Why?_

"Stupid! If you get sick I'll never hear the end of it. Your dad and Sora would bug me about it till you got better."

_Ah! So that's why he said that._

Hayner walked up between us so he was standing in the middle.

"It's not that cold!"

He sounded like he was sulking.

I reached out and ruffled his hair. He blushed. I quickly pulled my hand away.

_I'm unintentionally getting his hopes up._

We bought our tickets and headed over to concessions.

"What do you want Hayner?"

He pondered.

"I want a slushy and some sour patch kids!"

_He's such a little kid._

"Don't you want any popcorn?"

I turned and looked at Axel. I was about to answer when Hayner interrupted me.

"Popcorn's gross and it's bad for you."

I sighed.

_I really want popcorn though. Oh well. I don't have enough to get a drink and popcorn._

"Nah. I'm just gonna get a coke."

"Alright. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Save me a seat."

I nodded.

I paid for me and Hayner's snacks and made our way to the theatre.

When we got inside Hayner headed for two empty seats. I stopped him.

"We need a seat for Axel too. Stop being rude."

He glared at me.

"Quit pretending this is a date Roxas, cause it's not. Get it through your head. He doesn't like you!"

I flinched at his words. He pulled away from me and headed for three empty seats.

_I'm not trying to hurt you Hayner…_

I heaved a sigh and made my way over to Hayner.

I sat down and peeked over at him.

He refused to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry Hayner."

He huffed and crossed his arms.

"Why won't give up on me?"

That took him by surprise.

"Because I love you Roxas. Just because you don't feel the same way doesn't mean my feelings for you are gonna disappear."

I nodded.

"Then why are you mad at me for still liking Axel?"

He widened his eyes and looked away.

"That's completely different…"

I shook my head.

"It's the exact same thing Hayner. I refuse to give up, just like you refuse to give up."

He looked at his feet and got really quiet.

_Hopefully he understands now._

A few minutes later Axel came and took his seat next to me.

He set a small bag of popcorn in my lap.

I looked at him in confusion.

"What's this?"

He looked at me like I was stupid.

He picked a piece up and popped it in his mouth.

"This Roxas is a new type of food that is called popcorn. It doesn't surprise me that you haven't heard of it."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Har har. I meant why are you giving it to me?"

He chuckled.

"You wanted some didn't you?"

I was thankful for the dimmed lights cause I blushed.

_How'd he know?_

I nodded my head.

"Thanks."

I felt Hayner stand up.

I looked over at him. He looked angry and was pointing at Axel.

"I'm not going to let you take Roxas away from me! He's mine!"

_Thank god the movie hasn't started yet and there's barely anyone here._

Axel looked shocked.

I stood up and pushed against Hayner's chest, making him sit down.

"Hayner what are you talking about? It's not like that with Axel."

I pleaded with my eyes for him not to say anything.

He just glared at me and pouted.

He turned towards the screen.

I looked at Axel.

"Sorry about that."

He shrugged.

"Kid's got an over active imagination. It's okay."

The movie started so I couldn't say anything else.

It wasn't until 15 minutes into the movie that I wished I wasn't sitting in the middle.

Hayner got as close to me as the arm rest would allow.

I wasn't comfortable with that so I started scooting away from him.

That made me brush against Axel's arm and jump at the sudden contact.

That made my popcorn go flying out onto my lap and the floor.

People threw glares my way making me very self conscious.

Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Axel shaking with silent laughter.

_Glad to know I amuse him… I just made a fool of myself._

But like Hayner said, this wasn't a date so I shouldn't be concerned with that.

How I wished it was a date though. Just me and Axel spending the day together as more than friends.

I sighed wistfully.

_This is so conflicting._

I sat their sitting as straight as possible the rest of the movie.

I didn't wanna accidentally touch either of them. Things were complicated enough as it was.

I was bored out of my mind. The movie was terrible.

I made myself focus on the screen though, cause my only alternative was to stare at Axel.

_If I stare at him like some sap he'll figure out I like him!_

Finally, finally the movie was over.

I stretched and looked at Hayner.

"You sure know how to pick a crappy movie don't you?"

He glared at me.

"What are you talking about? It was hilarious!"

_I guess I have a crappy sense of humor._

I went to stand up but Axel stopped me.

"If you stand up you'll send the popcorn in your lap flying again."

He started wiping it off of my lap.

I blushed. I stood up.

"There's so much of it the floor already it doesn't really matter."

Axel looked like he wanted to protest but he didn't.

"Come on. I wanna go to the mall."

Axel and Hayner followed me out of the movie theatre.

While walking towards the mall, Hayner grabbed my hand.

I was kind of frustrated at that point so I snatched my hand away and snapped.

"Dammit Hayner would you quit it already? How many times do I have to tell you I don't like you like that?"

Hurt pooled in his eyes and I instantly felt bad.

"Hayner I—"

He didn't let me finish. He stormed on ahead of us.

He brought his hand up to his face so I thought he was crying.

_Dammit!_

I felt Axel's hand on my shoulder.

"You okay Roxas?"

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't wanna hurt him but enough is enough. If I act like I'm okay with it I'll just be stringing him along."

* * *

><p><em>This is my chance to get a few answers.<em>

"So you're not okay with it?"

I tried to not sound overly curious.

Roxas shook his head.

"No. Hayner's my best friend. I don't see him as anything else."

I was dying to ask what about me, but I didn't.

"Yea, it'd be weird to have feelings for your best friend."

When I said that, he got a tortured look on his face that I couldn't fathom.

It was gone just as fast as it appeared.

He nodded his head.

"It would just make things awkward and complicated."

I pondered on what to say. I couldn't think of anything.

_It wouldn't be awkward or complicated… would it?_

We walked into the mall.

"I wonder where he could be?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Try calling him."

Just as Roxas pulled his phone out of his pocket, Hayner came running up with a big smile on his face.

_He recovered quickly._

"Roxas there's a pet store! Come with me to look at puppies."

He grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him through the crowd.

I shook my head.

_Is he really 15?_

I knew the mall like the back of my hand so I easily found the store they had run off to.

When I walked into the pet store, Roxas and Hayner were sitting in pen, surrounded by puppies.

Roxas was holding one. It was licking his face and he had a big smile on his face.

I smiled.

_He looks so happy and carefree. I rarely see him like this._

He noticed me staring and smiled at me.

"Come in here Axel. There so cute!"

I couldn't resist. I walked in and sat down next to Roxas.

He put the puppy he was holding in my lap and grabbed another one for himself.

I started petting the one in my lap.

"Do you like dogs Roxas?"

He was cooing at the puppy he was holding.

_H_e's _cute._

"Yea. I've always wanted one, but… Mom was allergic."

His carefree smile was gone. I wanted it back.

The puppy in my lap started tugging on Roxas' jacket.

We reached to pull him away at the same time. Our hands touched.

We both froze for a few seconds before withdrawing our hands.

_I wanna hold his hand and tell him everything will be okay!_

_I wanna tell him how I feel!_

"Roxas—"

Hayner came running up.

"Roxas! They have kitties too, come on!"

He pulled Roxas to his feet and off they went.

_Dammit…_

_It's probably for the better though…_

I stood up and walked over to the cat area.

I started laughing. The kitten Roxas had picked up started hissing at him.

"I guess you're not a cat person?"

He looked over and stuck his tongue out at me.

I stuck mine out at him in return.

I glanced at Hayner. He was glaring at me.

When Roxas turned his back, I shrugged my shoulders at Hayner.

Hayner turned his back on me.

I walked over to Roxas and took the struggling tabby from his hands. It calmed down immediately.

I laughed.

"They really don't like you do they?"

He crossed his arms and pouted.

"I don't know why, but they never have."

Hayner ran up to us.

_This kid has the worst fucking timing!_

"Roxas what do you want for Christmas?"

_Christmas? I need to figure out what I'm gonna get Roxas too._

Roxas blanched.

"You don't have to get me anything Hayner."

_That's not a helpful answer. Thank god Hayner's persistent._

"You know I'm gonna get you something either way so just tell me so I get you something you like."

Roxas sighed.

"Alright. Let me think."

I started petting the orange tabby in my arms. He was kinda cute.

A few minutes later Roxas gave Hayner an answer.

"A new sketch pad or a new wrist band."

Hayner smiled and nodded his head.

_Why would he need a new wristband? He's stopped hasn't he?_

I waited for Hayner to be out of hearing distance.

"Roxas? You haven't done it recently have you?"

He looked at me in confusion.

"No. Why?"

I knew he was telling the truth.

"Then why do you want a new wrist band?"

He laughed at my question.

"I don't wear them just to cover my scars. I like them. It'd feel weird not to have one on every day."

That was a relief to hear.

"Will I get the same answer from you?"

He was confused again.

"What should I get you for Christmas?"

He processed my question and then frantically shook his head.

"You don't have to get me anything Axel."

I chuckled.

"I know. I want to. Now what do you want?"

He averted his eyes.

"You can't give me what I want Axel…"

His face looked so sad.

_Huh? What does he mean?_

He walked over to Hayner.

"Come on. Let's go get something to eat at the food court."

Hayner nodded and they left. I followed.

As we made our way to the food court, all I could think about was Roxas' behavior.

_What's wrong with him?_

Just as we walked into the food court a familiar squeal met my ears.

"Roxas! Axel!"

We turned around and there stood Sora and Riku.

Roxas smiled.

"Hey guys!"

Sora ran up to Roxas and wrapped him in a hug.

I had gotten so used to this so it didn't bug me anymore.

Riku walked up as Sora pulled away.

"Why don't we all eat together?"

I figured if Sora and RIku were there it wouldn't be as awkward.

A few minutes later we were all sitting around a table.

Sora did a once over of Hayner.

"Who's this?"

Hayner leaned over and placed a kiss on Roxas' cheek.

"I'm Roxas' boyfriend Hayner!"

_It's not true. It's not true. Calm down._

Riku rolled his eyes while Sora looked confused.

"Boyfriend? But Roxas, I thought you said you liked—"

"SORA!"

Roxas had stood up and banged his hands on the table. He had a frantic look in his eyes.

Sora's eyes widened in fear and placed his hand against his mouth.

"Sorry Roxas…"

_What was he about to say? Who does Roxas like?_

I was dying to know.

Roxas sat down but he still had that frantic look in his eyes.

"It's alright… I just want it to stay a secret 'kay?"

Sora nodded.

Roxas stood up.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom…"

As soon as he was out of ear shot I turned on Sora.

"Who does Roxas like?"

Sora shook his head.

"I can't tell you that Axel."

I wanted to strangle the brunette.

I looked at Riku.

"Do you know?"

He smirked at me.

"I've known since before he knew."

I glared at him.

"So who is it?"

He shook his head.

"I promised Sora and Roxas I wouldn't tell anybody."

I looked at Hayner even though I knew it was pointless.

"Do you know too?"

He nodded his head looking smug.

"Yepp, but I'm not telling you."

I glared at him.

"And why the hell not?"

He looked at me like I was stupid.

"Cause I don't like you. If he wanted you to know he would've told you now wouldn't he?"

I grimaced.

"So I'm the only one who doesn't know?"

They all nodded their heads.

_Bastards!_

* * *

><p>The rest of that day passed by in an awkward blur.<p>

Roxas was completely uncomfortable around Axel after Sora almost let his secret slip.

I wanted to talk to him about it that night, but I didn't think he'd want to so I dropped it.

I didn't want the night to end, cause the next day I had to leave.

"Have you had fun so far Hayner?"

Roxas suddenly talking surprised me.

I nodded my head.

"Yea Roxas. I really did miss you."

He nodded but didn't say anything.

I could barely sleep that night. Roxas couldn't either. He kept tossing and turning.

Before I knew it, it was morning.

A few hours later me and Roxas were packing my stuff.

We walked down the hallway, made it out the front door and were heading for the bus station.

It was all going by way too fast.

I was glad Axel wasn't with us. I wanted to savor my time alone with Roxas before I had to leave.

We were at the bus station and waiting in my terminal.

"Cheer up Hayner. It's not like we're never gonna see each other again."

I nodded my head, unsure if it was true or not.

_Are you gonna want me to come back though? I'm sure you'll be with Axel soon. Once that happens I'll be a bother._

My bus pulled in.

I turned to Roxas and wrapped him in a hug. For once he didn't push me away.

"Bye Roxas."

He touseled my hair.

"Bye Hayner."

I grabbed my bags and walked onto the bus.

I sat down. My phone vibrated.

**I liked having u here Hayner. U r and will always be my best friend. U should come visit during the summer.**

_How can he say that after I acted like such a brat?_

I started crying. The bus started moving.

I stood up and pulled my window down.

I stuck my head out.

"I love you Roxas!"

He just smiled at me and nodded.

I didn't stick my head back in till I couldn't see Roxas anymore.

I sat down and laid my head in my hands and choked out sobs.

_I love you Roxas!_

* * *

><p><strong>Hayner interrupted Axel's confession!<strong>

**So that's the last of Hayner unless this story lasts till summer time.**

**I can't wait to do the next chapter. It sounds really cute in my head.**

**Let me know what you guys think.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	15. Lasagna

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p>"Dammit!"<p>

I started laughing.

Me and Dad had drug out our Christmas stuff to decorate the house.

Dad was currently losing a fight with a stubborn strand of tangled up lights.

"Dad why don't we just buy some new lights? You're never gonna get those untangled.

He didn't take his eyes off the tangled mess.

"No Roxas. It's a challenge now, and I will win."

I rolled my eyes and resumed digging through a box of ornaments.

I stopped when I came to the angel that would go on top.

"Hey Dad, do you remember when Mom dropped this and insisted on fixing it?"

He looked over at me and sad recognition entered his eyes.

The angel had been very pretty once. Until Mom had dropped it.

She felt really bad about it and desperately tried to fix.

She did in a way, but now it was hideous.

When she dropped it the left eye fell out, the wings lost a lot of feathers, and the dress ripped.

Mom replaced the eye with a red marble, replaced the missing feathers with black strips of fabric and sewed the dress back together with the only color thread we had. Orange.

I gave a low chuckle at the memory. Dad took it out of my hands.

"Every year after that we tried to make her give in and buy a new one."

I nodded.

"But she would be stubborn and say it had character and that is was the best angel ever."

I gently touched the angel's face.

"I miss her Dad."

He hugged me.

"Me too Roxas. Me too."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears.

I thought I would have to resist the urge to cut myself, but it never came.

_Thank you Axel._

Someone knocked at the front door.

_Think of the devil and the devil shall come._

I stood up.

"That'll be Axel."

Dad grinned.

"I haven't seen him in a while. I thought you two might be fighting again."

I shook my head.

"Nope. He had to go out of town with his family for a week."

_What a horrible week that had been._

I couldn't even call or text him cause where he was had no cell service.

I walked to the door and threw it open with a little more force than necessary.

I smiled at him, relieved that he was here.

Then I took in his appearance and noticed something different.

He frowned.

"What is it?"

I reached up and touched his hair.

"You cut your hair?"

He nodded his head.

"Why?"

He shrugged.

"It was too long for me. You don't like it?"

I realized I was still touching his hair and jerked my hand away.

I turned around and made my way to the living room.

"It's your hair. It doesn't matter to me what you do with it. You can go bald for all I care."

_There. That sounded perfectly indifferent._

I heard him chuckle behind me as he followed me into the living room.

My dad was still throwing curses at the bundle of lights.

He looked up when he noticed us.

"Hey Axel. Have a nice trip?"

Axel sat down on the couch.

"No I did not. I was bored and lonely and thought I'd go insane without my phone."

I laughed at the sight of Axel pouting.

He glared at me.

"What's so funny Roxie?"

I tried to control my laughter.

"You're such a child sometimes Axel!"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"You try spending a week with second graders and younger. You'd act like a child too."

I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck!"

Me and Axel started laughing at my dad.

Axel looked at me.

"How long's he been trying to untangle those?"

I checked the clock.

"Two hours. He hasn't made any progress. I think he's made it worse actually."

Dad glared at me.

"You try doing it then!"

I laughed and reached for it.

"Alright."

Ten minutes later I was cursing at the lights.

"This is fucking impossible!"

Axel and my dad laughed at me.

Axel took it out of my hands.

"Let me do it."

An hour later we were putting the lights onto the tree.

I was still in awe that Axel had been able to untangle the lights.

"How the hell did you do that? Are you some kind of genius? No. That can't be it cause you have horrible grades."

Axel was laughing at me.

"I'm not sure if you're complimenting me or insulting me."

My clapped him on the back.

"I'm just glad that he got them untangled. You'll have to do it next year too."

_Will Axel still be a part of my life come next year? I hope so._

Axel smiled at my dad.

"Sure thing. My mom always has me untangle ours too."

_He doesn't seem fazed, so he plans on sticking around?_

Once the lights were on the tree Dad collapsed onto the couch.

"I'm beat!"

I gave him a skeptical look.

"We just started Dad. We still gotta do the ornaments, tinsel, and put the angel on."

He waved a hand at me.

"We can do that tomorrow. It's still two days till Christmas."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're such a procrastinator."

He laughed.

"You and Axel go have fun."

Axel stood up.

"Why don't we go to my house Roxas? My mom invited you for dinner."

I panicked.

"Your m-mom?"

_As in I'd be meeting his parents!_

He looked at me with a weird expression.

"Yea? My dad would be there too, but he's got work."

_Alright so just one parent, but it's still his Mom!_

_What if she doesn't like me?_

_It doesn't matter if she doesn't like you. You're just Axel's friend._

My dad grinned at me.

"Go Roxas. It'll be fun, and much better than my cooking."

I laughed at his joke then turned to Axel.

"Okay. Let's go."

He smiled and followed me out of the living room.

While we were walking to his house I started to feel nervous again.

"Axel should I feel nervous?"

He laughed.

"Why should you feel nervous. It's just my mom."

I shrugged.

"You've never had me over before. I thought there was a reason for it."

He sighed.

"There was. I wasn't sure if it'd be bad or good for you to meet my mom."

I was confused.

"Why?"

He looked over at me then averted his eyes.

"I wasn't sure if it would make you happy or sad after losing your mom. She'll hug you and call you sweetie or honey. She'll treat you like you're her son. That's just the way she is."

_He was worried about me._

I smiled.

"I'll be fine Axel, and if for some reason it's too much you'll get me through it. You always do."

He looked taken aback when I said that and quickly looked away.

Suddenly felt bad.

"I rely on you too much don't I Axel?"

He didn't say anything at first.

"You're my best friend Roxas. You're supposed to rely on me. I'll always be here for you."

I wanted to cry when he said that.

I wanted to tell him how I felt.

_Why don't you feel the same way!_

"Thank you Axel."

_I can't let him know anything's wrong._

We had arrived at his house. I had forgotten how close he lived.

He opened the door and stepped inside. I hesitated before doing the same.

He looked awkward.

"This is it."

I was about to ask him why he was nervous all of a sudden, but a whirl of red hair came running out of the kitchen and threw themselves at Axel.

* * *

><p>I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, waiting for Axel to come home.<p>

I was excited about finally meeting the boy that had stolen my son's heart.

_Roxas. _

I was glad Axel liked someone, but I felt bad for him too.

He didn't wanna risk their friendship by telling Roxas how he felt until he was sure Roxas felt the same way.

My heart ached just thinking about it.

I knew Axel told me to me to forget about it, but I couldn't wait to find out how Roxas felt.

Call it a sixth sense, but I could always tell someone's feelings after being around them for a while.

I heard the door and squealed with delight before running to the front door.

I wrapped Axel into a hug.

He chuckled.

"Hey Mom."

I pulled away so I could get a look at Roxas.

_He's so precious!_

"Mom this is Roxas."

He blushed and smiled at me.

"It's so nice to finally meet you Roxas. I feel like I already know you after hearing Axel talk about you though."

Axel glared at me.

"Mom!"

Roxas laughed.

"It's nice to meet you too."

He was just too cute.

I couldn't help myself. I threw my arms around him.

"You're such a sweetheart! And handsome too."

He blushed and mumbled thanks.

Axel looked like he was ready to punch something.

"Why don't you two go to your room Axel. Dinner will be ready in half an hour."

Axel started up the stairs but Roxas stayed where he was.

"W-what are we having?"

I smiled at him.

"Lasagna and garlic bread. Is that alright with you?"

He nodded his head.

"I love Italian food."

I giggled.

"I'll call when it's ready."

* * *

><p>I collapsed onto my bed.<p>

_What the hell is wrong with her!_

_Saying that I talk about him and that he's handsome?_

"Sorry about that Roxas. She's kinda… energetic."

He laughed and shook his head.

"It's fine. She was herself. I like her."

I smiled, glad he wasn't nervous anymore.

"I'm not sure how to correct her though."

I was confused.

"Huh?"

He blushed.

"She called me handsome. I'm not."

_Fuck! What do I say to that? I can't tell him he's hot as hell!_

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Don't think anything of it. If you correct her it'll just hurt her feelings. You do not wanna see her sad. It's pitiful."

He started walking around my room. It made me self conscious.

He stopped at my desk and picked up my camera.

He turned around and snapped a picture of me.

"Roxas, why'd you do that?"

I hated having my picture taken.

He laughed.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

He walked over and sat down next to me on the bed.

"Take one with me."

He leaned in close to me and took the picture.

_I guess getting my picture taken is not so bad…_

I snatched the camera away from him and pointed it in his direction.

"Your turn."

He tried hiding his face behind his hand so I grabbed it before he could and pressed the button.

He quickly snatched his hand out of my grasp.

"No more pictures."

It had gone from comfortable to very awkward.

"Roxas? Is every—"

"Boys! Dinners ready!"

_Great timing Mom!_

Roxas turned to me and smiled.

"Let's go eat. I'm starving!"

_Well at least he seems okay now._

* * *

><p>I pulled the lasagna out of the oven and set it on the table.<p>

I looked over the table. Satisfied I called for Axel and Roxas.

A few minutes they came tromping down the stairs.

"It smells great Mom."

I placed a kiss on his cheek before sitting down.

"You flatter me Axel."

I turned to Roxas.

"You hungry sweetheart?"

He nodded.

I cut him a chunk of lasagna and put a piece of garlic bread on his plate.

"There you go. Eat up."

I put food on my plate and started eating.

Axel was just sitting there.

"What are you waiting for hunny?"

He looked at me.

"Aren't you gonna cut me a piece too?"

I laughed.

"You're perfectly capable of doing it yourself."

He glared at me and started putting food on his plate.

"Why's Roxas get the special treatment?"

I giggled.

"Cause Roxas is the guest. You should treat him special too."

He glared at my subtle hint.

He looked over at Roxas.

"You're stealing my mom away Roxie!"

Roxas blushed at the nick name.

_That could because he likes Axel or he could do that whenever someone calls him that._

"So Roxas are you liking it here?"

He nodded his vigorously.

"I really like this town."

Axel rolled his eyes.

"This town is boring!"

I shot Axel a glare.

"What do you like about it Roxas?"

He averted his eyes.

"Well it's small, and the school's good, and everyone's really nice."

His kept flicking his eyes to Axel while he was saying this.

I giggled.

Axel looked at me.

"What are you laughing at?"

I giggled some more.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

He looked at me like I was crazy.

_You have nothing to worry about Axel. _

* * *

><p>"Roxas I want you to come back soon okay?"<p>

I smiled at Axel's mom.

"Sure."

She gave me one last hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs.

I really liked Axel's mom.

I turned to Axel.

"I've gotta get going. It's late."

He nodded his head.

"Come on. I'll walk you home."

_I really want you to._

I shook my head.

"It's late, cold, and I'm only a block away."

He looked ready to protest but I stopped him.

"I'll be fine Axel."

He hung his head in defeat.

"Alright. See you tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"Sure. I'll text you. Bye Axel."

"Bye Roxas."

It was so hard to walk away from him.

_At least I'll see him tomorrow._

* * *

><p><strong>Well that's that. Not much to it, I just thought it'd be really cute.<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	16. Sickly Christmas

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p> "Roxas please! Please! Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?"<p>

It was Christmas Eve and Axel was begging me to go play out in the snow with him.

"You're just a big kid you know that?"

He wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Come on! It'll be fun. I promise."

_I hate the snow, but if he keeps begging like this I'm gonna give in._

"What's fun about playing in the cold?"

He got down on his knees and clapped his hands together.

"Please!"

_DammitDammitDammitDammit!_

"Get up Axel. I'll go play in the damn snow! Happy?"

He flashed me a smile that took my breath away.

"Thanks Roxas!"

_I'm so gonna regret this!_

He practically forced me into my coat and pushed me down the stairs and out the front door.

Axel started running around in the snow with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

I just stood there awkwardly. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.

"Roxas what are you waiting for?"

I glared at him.

"I've never played in the snow before. During the winter I hole up inside."

He looked at me incredulously.

"You've never built a snow man?"

I shook my head.

"Made a snow angel."

I shook my head again.

"Gone sledding?"

I was irritated.

"Axel! I haven't done any of it."

He smirked and knelt to the ground. He started doing something to the snow.

"What are you doing?"

He gave me an evil look and stood up with a ball of snow in his hand.

I took a step back.

"You wouldn't dare."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh I would."

He threw the snow ball at me and I barely dodged it.

"Axel quit!"

He made another snow ball.

"Whatcha gonna do about it Roxie?"

He was taunting me and trying to provoke me into playing along.

_I am way too mature to fall for something like that._

_So why the __**hell **__am I making a snow ball!_

"You're so gonna get it Axel."

_Please let me hit him. If I don't he'll never let me forget it._

He watched me warily as he knelt down to pact some more snow together.

As he stood up I launched mine at him. It hit him square in the chest.

"Ha!"

He glared at me and I started running.

I heard his feet crunching in the snow as he chased after me.

"Come back here Roxas!"

I threw my head back in laughter.

"Not a chance!"

Despite my earlier reluctance, I actually was having fun.

_It's only cause I'm with Axel though. I couldn't do this with anyone else._

I suddenly felt something make contact with my back; something cold touched my neck.

"Ha! I got you back!"

I shook my head to get the snow off my neck and kept running.

"Give up Roxie! I'm gonna catch you eventually. My legs are longer."

I turned around and started running backwards. He really was catching up.

"Yea your legs are longer but I we—"

I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped over something.

I started falling backwards and landed in a big pile of snow.

Axel was so close at that point that he ended up falling on top of me.

We were both laughing and gasping for breath. It took me a minute to realize our position.

_He's so close!_

I was frozen, not sure what I should do when Axel rolled off me and started making a snow angel.

I looked over at him.

"Aren't you tired and cold yet?"

His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing heavy.

He stopped moving his arms and legs and looked at me.

"Yea but I love the snow. It changes everything, and makes it seem like the world's frozen in time. Almost like we could always stay together like this."

He averted his eyes. I blushed.

_That made me really happy._

I sat up.

"It's just snow Axel. Eventually it'll melt and go away, but me and you will always be friends. Right?"

He sat up with me.

"Y-yeah. Of course we'll always be friends Roxas."

_But I want so much more._

He stood up and offered me his hand to help me do the same.

I took it.

"Thanks."

I started wiping snow off of me.

He threw his arm around my shoulders and we started walking.

"No problem Roxie."

I had had fun, but I was regretting it now.

"I'm freezing Axel! This is why I didn't wanna play in the snow."

He chuckled.

"You had fun though so it was worth it."

_How does he read me so easily?_

"Who said anything about it being fun?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I could tell by the way you were laughing."

We finally made it back to Axel's house; we had run farther than I thought.

His mom popped her head out of the kitchen and smiled at us.

"Did you two have fun?"

She was always so bright and cheery.

Axel took off his coat and threw it over a kitchen chair.

"Yepp. I destroyed Roxas in a snowball fight."

I threw my coat on top of his and glared at him.

"You did no such thing."

His mom giggled.

"Hot chocolate?"

I beamed.

"Yes please!"

Axel looked over at me.

"When do you have to go home?"

_I don't wanna go…_

"Soon. Dad likes to drive around and look at Christmas lights. I'm gonna go with him."

Axel nodded his head.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

_Oh I hope so!_

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know. Possibly."

His mom set mugs of hot chocolate in front of us.

"Thanks Mom."

She put her hand on Axel's shoulder.

"No problem sweetie."

She went back to the kitchen. She was baking cookies.

I put my hands around my mug and marveled at the warmth.

I blew on the liquid before taking a tiny sip. I didn't wanna burn myself.

"Fuck! It's hot!"

Axel had taken a big gulp of it.

I laughed at him.

"You're an idiot Axel."

He glared at me.

"Shut up Roxas."

That just made me laugh more.

We finished our hot chocolate and got up to leave the kitchen.

When we were in the door way Axel's mom stopped us.

"Oh sweetheart, what do you think of where I put the mistletoe?"

_What?_

"Where is it Mom?"

She grinned at us and pointed up.

Me and Axel tilted our heads up. Sure enough there was a sprig of mistletoe above us.

_She did that on purpose!_

Me and Axel looked at each other for a few seconds before jumping out from underneath the mistletoe.

_She knows!_

Axel glared at his mom.

"What'd you do that for?"

She feigned innocence.

"What are you talking about? I just wanted your opinion. I never meant for you two to kiss. You're just friends after all."

She threw me a knowing look.

I silently groaned.

_This is bad! She might tell Axel._

"Hope you have a good Christmas Roxas."

I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled at her.

"Y-you too. I've gotta get going Axel."

He nodded.

"Sure Roxas. See ya."

I left as quickly as I could without being rude.

_That was a little too close for comfort._

* * *

><p>I was up in my room, anxiously waiting for it to be 11:45.<p>

I was planning on going to Roxas' and giving him his present at midnight.

I had finally convinced myself to do it, but I was starting to reconsider.

_What if he gets mad? Or thinks I'm an idiot?_

_He already thinks you're an idiot, nothing will change._

_What if he doesn't like my present? He will. You know he will._

_What if he figures out I like him. I mean what I'm doing is something a boyfriend would do, not a best friend._

_Just do it!_

It was 11:45. It was now or never.

I grabbed the small bundle off my desk, threw my coat on and walked out the front door.

15 minutes later I was standing in front of Roxas' house.

At midnight I sent him a text.

**Merry Christmas! Come outside.**

I waited.

* * *

><p>I got back from seeing Christmas lights with Dad at 11:30.<p>

I plopped down on my bed. I wasn't really tired, but I figured I should go to bed.

I couldn't wait till morning.

I lay there trying to fall asleep when at midnight my phone vibrated.

I furrowed my brows.

_Who could that be?_

I smiled. It was Axel.

**Merry Christmas! Come outside.**

_Huh?_

I walked out to the living room to look out the window.

There stood Axel, patiently waiting.

"It's freezing out there… What is he doing?"

I threw my coat on and stepped outside.

When he saw me he smiled.

I had been irritated but I couldn't help but return that smile.

"What are you doing here Axel?"

He shrugged.

"Merry Christmas."

I rolled my eyes.

"You did not come here in the middle of the night to tell me merry Christmas."

He gave a low chuckle.

"You're right. I didn't."

He sounded nervous.

"Then why did you come here."

He put his hand in his coat pocket.

"Hold your hand out and close your eyes."

I looked at him warily but did as he told.

He set some something in the palm of my hand.

In the center of my hand was a black wristband with an ornate key stitched into it.

I wanted to ask him what is was for but he didn't give me a chance.

"You said you wanted a wrist band and you're always sketching keys in your notebook and I just happened to see it in passing and thought of you and…"

I started laughing. He glared at me.

"Fine! If you don't want it I'll take it back!"

He went to snatch it out of my hand but I wouldn't let him.

"I never said I didn't want it. Thank you Axel. It's perfect."

He breathed a sigh of relief when I said that.

"I feel bad though. I didn't get you anything."

_Nothing had been good enough._

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't worry about it."

I shivered and wrapped my arms around me. He noticed.

"Why don't you go inside Roxas? I'll see you tomorrow."

I smiled at him.

"Night Axel."

He threw his hand up as he walked away.

"Night Roxas."

_I love you Axel._

* * *

><p><em>I hate you Axel!<em>

I was lying in bed, too weak to move.

I was sick. I had a cold and a really bad fever.

It was all because of Axel.

For making me play in the snow and calling me outside in negative degree weather.

_Stupid Axel._

My phone vibrated. I barely had the strength to reach for it.

**Hey Roxie!**

I glared at my phone.

**U r an idiot. Leave me alone.**

I knew being mad at him wouldn't help me get better but I didn't care.

**Wat? Watd I do?**

_Idiot!_

**Im sick and its all ur fault!**

* * *

><p>Roxas' text scared the hell out of me. I thought he was serious.<p>

_He's sick and it's my fault?_

I guess it could be my fault. I did make him go outside in cold weather and play in the snow.

I felt bad and I was worried about him.

_He must be miserable being sick on Christmas._

I walked downstairs and threw my coat on before walking into the living room.

"Merry Christmas Mom. I'm going to Roxas'. He's sick."

She smiled at me.

"Alright sweetie. Tell him I hope he feels better soon and don't take advantage of him."

I ignored her.

_As if I'd do that._

I walked to his house as fast as I could.

I knocked on the door and his dad let me in.

"Hey Axel. Merry Christmas."

I nodded.

"Merry Christmas. Is Roxas feeling any better?"

He gave me a knowing look.

_God! Does everyone know but Roxas?_

"Why don't you go check on him? He's in his room."

I said thanks and made my way down the hallway.

I gently knocked on his bedroom door. I didn't get an answer so I went in.

He was lying on his bed, glaring at me.

_He's cute when he's irritated._

I chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

His voice was hoarse and I frowned.

"You really are sick aren't you?"

He nodded.

"I'm sorry buddy. I never meant to get you sick."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I have a weak immune system. It's not all your fault."

I walked over to his bed and sat on the edge next to him.

I noticed he was wearing the wristband I gave him. I smiled.

He tugged his blanket around him tighter.

"It's cold."

I changed the way I was sitting so I could feel his forehead. His face got a little redder then it already was.

_Why?_

"You're burning up Roxas."

He shook his head.

"I'm cold. You're the warm one."

He snuggled up to me side, making me blush.

_God if he isn't adorable._

"Why don't you get some sleep Roxas?"

I tried to pull away. He wouldn't let me. He snuggled closer.

"So warm… Axel… A little longer… Just let me stay… like this… a little longer… Just this… once."

I relaxed when he said that and rubbed his hair.

"Sure thing Roxas."

He slowly drifted off to sleep.

_I could stay like this forever._

I wasn't exactly comfortable, but he was and that's all that mattered.

I leaned my head back and slowly fell asleep.

_I love you Roxas._

* * *

><p><strong>Aww! So I think this is the cutest chapter so far!<strong>

**I had to make Roxas like me cause I hate snow and never play in it. Until my boyfriend came along.**

**What happens next?**

**You'll have to wait to find out.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


	17. The Pain Faded Away

I Can Stop the Bleeding

**Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p> I felt a comfortable warmth around me, which was strange cause the last thing I remembered was bundling up under my covers cause I was freezing.<p>

I blinked open my eyes and my face was against something firm, but comfortable.

"You awake?"

I heard Axel's voice and didn't think anything of it.

I nodded my head. I felt his hand against my forehead.

"Your fever's gone. Are you feeling better?"

His hand being so close made something tug at my memory but I didn't pay it any attention.

"Yea."

He chuckled, and the subtle movement made me move.

_Huh?_

_Oh. He's on the bed somewhere. That's why._

I shut my eyes.

"What time is it?"

_How long have I been asleep?_

"It's 8. You've been asleep for four hours."

His voice being so close should've alarmed me. It didn't.

I could hear a thumping in my ear.

_Why is my heartbeat so loud?_

I felt a soft pressure traipsing up and down my spine.

_What is that?_

Finally, my grogginess wore off and I was able to take in my surroundings.

I had fallen asleep with my head on Axel's chest. The thumping in my ear was his heartbeat. The soft pressure on my back was his fingers.

_This is heaven._

I didn't want to move. I had to.

I sat up, feeling very embarrassed.

"S-sorry about that. I was kinda out of it earlier."

It had to be my wishful thinking, but it felt like Axel was reluctant to let go.

"It's fine Roxas. Don't worry about it."

_It meant nothing to him!_

I gripped my arm trying to hold back my tears.

_Why don't you love me!_

"Roxas? Are you sure you're feeling better?"

His kindness made me wanna cry even more.

He reached for me and I flinched away from his touch.

_Don't! You'll just make it worse!_

"Roxas? What's wrong?"

I could hear the concern and hurt in his voice.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I just don't want to get you sick. You should go."

_Leave! Before I break!_

I could hear my voice shaking.

"I won't get sick Roxas. I want to stay."

His words rang full of truth.

My tears spilled. I gripped my arm tighter.

"Roxas?"

He was really worried now.

_Stop it! Don't act like you care when you don't!_

"Get out!"

I put as much venom into my voice as I could.

"What?"

He was shocked.

_GO!_

_NO STAY!_

_PLEASE JUST GO! IT HURTS!_

I looked up at him through my tears; he was scared.

_Good. Maybe he'll leave without any questions._

"I don't want you here Axel. Not now. I need to be alone. I need… time."

_Please just say okay and leave._

"What happened Roxas? What'd I do?"

_He's making this so hard…_

"Why do I need to explain myself to you? I just want to be left the hell alone Axel!"

He gasped. My heart broke.

_Stay. Hold me. Say everything's going to be okay._

_No. Go. Just go._

He didn't say anything. I continued to cry and grip my arm.

He stood up.

_Don't go._

_Yes! Leave!_

_AXEL!_

"Okay Roxas. If that's what you want, I'll leave. Call me when you feel better."

Sadness saturated his voice and I didn't understand why.

When my door shut I broke down and started choking out sobs.

* * *

><p><em>What the hell? What the fucking hell!<em>

I was confused. I had no idea what had happened to make Roxas act like that.

'_Why do I need to explain myself to you? I just want to be left the hell alone Axel!'_

Those words sent a knife through my heart.

I didn't know what to do or say to change his mind.

I couldn't stay. Leaving nearly killed me.

When I shut the door I heard him sobbing.

It took everything in me not to run in there and hold him.

_He doesn't want me here. I have to respect that._

I forced myself to walk home and not turn back.

_The last time he said he needed time things turned out just fine._

_Everything will be okay._

I walked into my house and headed for the living room.

My mom turned around when I entered the room. Her and Dad were exchanging presents.

"Hey sweetie. Is Roxas feeling better?"

I couldn't find my voice.

She got a good look at my face.

"What's wrong?"

I collapsed onto the couch and covered my face with my hands.

"He sent me away. He said he wanted to be left alone and to give him time."

She got up off the floor to come sit next to me.

She put her arms around me and I leaned into her embrace.

Dad wasn't sure what to do.

He could easily be emotional and caring with Mom, but it was weird to do the same with me.

I understood. I would've found it weird too.

"What am I supposed to do Mom?"

She patted my shoulder and made me sit up and look at her.

"I think… You should tell him how you feel."

I was shocked and automatically shook my head.

"I can't do that."

She looked me straight in the eye.

"Yes you can. Give him all the time he needs, and the next time you see him tell him how you feel."

I was still doubtful so she continued to reassure me.

"Axel, you're never gonna find out how he feels until you tell him how you feel."

I knew what she said was the truth but I didn't wanna risk our friendship.

_It has to be done._

"Okay Mom. Next time I see him I'll tell him."

She smiled and kissed me on the forehead before getting up and going back to Dad.

I went upstairs to my room to think things over.

My phone vibrated.

**Axel… Can u come back… I need u…**

_Roxas._

I didn't take any time to think. I ran down the stairs and out of the house.

* * *

><p>I was sitting on my bathroom floor watching my wrist bleed.<p>

I couldn't control myself any longer.

After Axel left, and the pain bubbled to the surface, the urge to cut myself was greater than ever.

I didn't want to do it though. I didn't wanna disappoint Axel more than I already had.

I turned on music hoping it would distract me. It didn't.

I thought about Axel hoping that my feelings for him would be numb the pain. They didn't.

The pain and need wouldn't leave me.

_Just one little cut. That's all. It'll be the last time._

That's what I told myself as I walked across my bedroom to my bathroom.

It felt like my body had a mind of its own as my hand grasped my razor.

As I touched the blade to my skin, I started trembling as I anticipated the pain.

My breath hitched as I cut into the scared skin. It had been so long and I was no longer used to it.

I waited for the release. It never came. I still hurt; the wound had made it worse.

I started crying again.

_Axel._

I dug into my pocket with my uninjured arm and typed out a text.

**Axel… Can u come back… I need u…**

I didn't wait for a reply. I knew he would come.

_He's going to be so mad._

_No. He'll say everything's gonna be okay. Then he'll get mad._

I chuckled.

_I'm in love with an idiot…_

Ten minutes later Axel came running through my bedroom door.

"Roxas?"

I didn't answer. He found me right away.

I saw his eyes cloud with sadness, disappointment, worry, and something else I couldn't name.

"Axel I'm so sorry."

His eyes only held that emotion I couldn't name when I said that.

He knelt down and took my arm into his lap like that first night.

"Ssh. It's okay Roxas. I'm not mad. I'm just glad you texted me."

He started cleaning the wound.

"A-aren't you disappointed?"

He looked at me. His eyes vexed me.

"Yes, but I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you Roxas."

I felt a little better when he said that.

"Do you know why I'm disappointed?"

I shook my head.

"No not really."

He nodded I didn't think so.

"Every time you cut into yourself, it hurts me so much Roxas."

I didn't understand.

"W-well I'm your best friend. It makes sense."

He shook his head.

_Stop getting your hopes up!_

He finished bandaging my wrist.

He brought my arm up to his lips and kissed my wrist.

"You're more than a friend Roxas. I'm in love with you."

I froze. My breathing stopped.

_What?_

"I liked you as soon as I met you and since then I've slowly fallen in love you."

_Is this real? Am I dreaming?_

I'm not sure what expression my face held.

He took my face in hands and leaned forward.

My heart went wild.

He stopped an inch away from my lips to gauge my reaction.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move.

He leaned in that last inch and gently kissed me.

He pulled away and looked at me.

I was like stone. I could barely think let alone speak.

_Axel loves me? But I thought he said we were just friends?_

"… Just… friends…?"

I meant to say the whole sentence, but that's all I could manage.

Pain pooled in his eyes and turned away from me.

"Fine. I understand. I'll be going then. Goodbye Roxas."

He walked out the door.

I was still frozen on my bathroom floor.

I could hear rain pelting my window.

_Axel loves me?_

"Axel!"

I got up off my floor and ran for the front door.

"Axel!"

I passed my dad in the kitchen.

"Roxas?"

I ignored him. I had to get to Axel.

I ran outside into the pouring rain and ran after his retreating figure.

"Axel wait!"

He stopped and turned around.

"Why Roxas? I'm not going to be pathetic like Hayner and stick around to be hurt every day."

I kept walking towards him.

"Don't go Axel."

I was crying again. I doubt he could tell due to the rain.

"I shouldn't have told you_. _You should go back inside so you don't get sick again."

I grabbed his hand. He tried to pull away. I held on.

"Not until you listen to me Axel!"

He glared at me.

"I don't need to hear it Roxas! I can't just be your friend anymore! It hurts too much!"

He tried to pull his hand away again. I held tighter.

"I'm not gonna say I want to stay friends with you. I was going to say that I feel the same way."

He stopped trying to pull his hand away.

"What?"

He sounded shocked.

"I love you too Axel. I have for a long time."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Then why did you say we were just friends?"

I sighed.

"I meant to ask why you said we were just friends but it didn't come out that way. If you hadn't said that I would've told you how I felt a long time ago."

I looked away.

"I didn't realize I liked you at the time…"

I laughed.

"That's cause you're an idiot."

He turned to say something but I was tired of talk.

I stood on my tip toes and kissed him.

He was shocked at first but then he wrapped his hands around me tightly.

He kissed me back with such ferocity that I almost pulled away, but then the kiss slowly became gentler.

I melted into him; finally getting what I wanted.

He flicked his tongue over my lip, making me gasp.

When my mouth opened, he slowly slid his tongue into my mouth.

I responded by moving my own tongue against his, reveling in the contact.

I ran my hands through his hair, and melded my body against his.

In response he pulled me tighter.

He nibbled on my lip making me moan.

He broke the kiss, we both gasped for air.

He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Wow."

I couldn't speak so I nodded.

"Roxas, I love you."

I pecked his lips before responding.

"I love you too Axel."

I felt impervious to the rain as Axel pulled me into his embrace.

The pain had faded away.

* * *

><p><strong>I have been waiting to do this chapter since day one!<strong>

**I'm so happy with how it's turned out and how many people love it!**

**Question.**

**If I ended it here would I have an angry mob beating down my door?**

**Or do you guys want more?**

**Writing more wouldn't be a problem I'm not sure how I would end it.**

**Reviews please. :O)**


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